Don’t Get Cocky

Monday 23 December, 2002

I called Simran and challenged him about his behaviour yesterday. He had been to the house and worked in my office, but left without leaving a note, just as Michelle had done to him one year ago, which had caused all sorts of negativity.

I read more of ‘Emergence’, by Steven Johnson. The interactions between individuals determine their behaviour and affect the whole (organisation, colony, community).

At 18:00 Simran arrived feeling anxious. I challenged him on his comment that things work out the way they are meant to. Was he meant to get divorced? Was he meant to fuck up his kids?

Shortly afterwards, Harriet and George arrived. Before we all sat together, I had a call with Dev, challenging him on taking a week to fax through the work on member liability. We had done 95% of the work together last Sunday and all he added was a couple of lines. When he said he can’t seem to do anything right at the moment, I put him on to Simran and let the two of them talk together. Simran challenged him on indulging in negativity.

In the session, we dealt with Harriet’s and George’s marriage, and Bridget’s work appraisal. My learning points were:

  1. See and observe that others make mistakes.
  2. Nobody is perfect and everyone else is in the same mess.
  3. How Harriet was looking for crumbs of gladness/peace/happiness. Anything to avoid having to face the pain. That’s what I do. Just be with the pain.
  4. Verbalising what I want means everyone benefits.

At one point I challenged George, telling him to be quiet and listen to what I had to say. He had phoned on Saturday in order to try and please his wife, and messed me up in the process.

At the end of the night, Bridget stayed for another cup of tea and Simran hung around feeling lost. I checked with Karaj whether Simran should stay here or not, but Karaj said he needs to go home (see learning point #3: be with the pain).

Alone, I reflected that no-one challenges me. None of the other members of the group challenge me. And when they do, they are easily rebutted. Also, we should be in a position to give instant assessments (as well as instant feedback).

Summary: I continue to eat just the right amount. Stay sharp because I am good. Don’t get cocky. For fuck’s sake, don’t get cocky.

Related post: TS 7 – Don’t Get Cocky

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