Craving Drama & Excitement

Saturday 28 December, 2002

Yesterday, around lunchtime, I began to feel tearful. Having then worked well in the evening and verbalised a few thoughts about why I felt sad, Karaj and I had a good laugh about it. I am trying to create some excitement in my life at a time when, ironically, I am appreciating the quiet reflection I am having here. At times it is very powerful.

Today, I felt low again, so I went for a walk to the village where I witnessed the drama of a car chase and an arrest. As I watched the scene unfold, I realised I am feeling low because there is no excitement in my life. Good. Get used to it.

Summary: another quiet, peaceful and steady day, but also a melancholic one: my life is boring and I crave drama. It is like an addiction. I will be better off when I no longer have the craving for excitement. One to work on next year. I verbalised my melancholy to Karaj. I did it in a straight way and Karaj acknowledged what I said. End of exchange. There was nothing more to be said or done.

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