Be Focused

Monday 26 May, 2003

In the first supervision, we talked about the garden work from yesterday, which happened the way it did because the mind was not focused. People were in Child ego state (CES). They carried on and did the hedge because they were still not focused. Then in the feedback session, after recovering from the exhaustion of the physical work, the demons returned and they went back into CES and were not focused. That’s what happens all the time in life, if you do not follow procedures.

I had started to feel tired during the supervision, but working and chatting to Ishwar about his father while we prepared the food, woke me up. Many of his offenders have suffered through bereavement. Not being able to say goodbye has a significant and damaging  psychological impact.

Another supervision session and more analysis. Kuldip had no recall of the earlier conversation about the rubbish. Michelle was challenged; she has no respect for herself and always comes from negativity. When Kuldip was challenged for ‘concentrating on listening’ instead of just listening, I recognised the difference because I did the same in trying to observe. Now I just observe it is much easier.

I reflected over lunch: things are becoming clearer for me because I’ve sorted one thing at a time. When all this started, it was so difficult because there seemed so much to sort out – too many variables. Conclusion: sort one thing out at a time.

We then spent a couple of hours weeding the flower beds. This was my reward. It was great to get my hands into the soil, to be among the others and to chat with them. The focus on the detail of the weeding quietened my mind and it was a real pleasure. We have been clearing stuff (weeding) all weekend and even the work on my to do list has been the same. I have enjoyed going back over my experiences and have been able to analyse in more depth what has happened. That, too, is a pleasure.

Karaj referred to that last comment, saying: ‘Your attitude to your work has changed and because of that you enjoy what you do and you are growing.’

Summary: There has been less shouting this weekend, and not so much going round in circles covering old ground with people. As a result we have achieved good work very easily, although Karaj did say: ‘But people will go down’. I am no longer under any illusions that people’s improvement is necessarily permanent. I have seen many a false dawn here and I know that both Simran and Dev will go down sooner or later. It has been an excellent (long) weekend. But nothing to get excited about.


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