Learning How To Serve

Sunday 1 June, 2003

Michelle had invited her father to the house today to honour him. The morning began with preparations for the celebration. Karaj drew up a to-do list of over 40 items. Simran was put in charge and was responsible for ticking off the items as they were done. I received the guests. It was important for me to welcome people and be the first point of contact here. I kept my distance from the servers – Simran, Dev, Ishwar and Kuldip. Only Ishwar was in control of things and it was because of the ineptitude of the others that I stayed on the edge of the operation. I got sucked into their mêlée once for a brief period during the serving of the main course, but quickly got out again when I realised what was going on.

My priority was to socialise, which I did. I chatted to Leon and the others about my time in Australia. Michelle read her letter to her father. She did so in a powerful way and it was very moving. I had tears in my eyes but looking at the other men, who seemed to be in control of their emotions – notably Karaj and Matthew – helped me to keep mine in check.

He father was a pleasant, smiley man and his presence brought added life and light to the group. Shona’s cake was another great success. After Michelle had thanked everyone for coming, Karaj asked if anyone else had anything to say. Again, it was important for me to contribute, because I am such a big part of this set-up and I have benefited so much from the people here. I told Michelle it is a privilege to know her and a privilege to meet her father, and to see where Michelle gets her laughter from. Nobody else from the Self-Healing Group said anything.

I chatted idly with Matthew about the garden work we do here, explaining that when people are focused on the physical work their true colours come through, which is a big help in identifying people’s issues. He contradicted me but agreed with me at the same time. I decided to tone down my enthusiasm until I could work out where he stands with what goes on here. Nevertheless, it was an enjoyable chat and I would like to talk to him more. He reminds me a little of HK from my time in Germany: can talk on any subject, but can still be enlightened by what others have to say.

When Matthew left with his wife Dania, his parting words to me were: ‘You’re a strong right arm. I mean it, he’s a very lucky man.’ Affirming words indeed. I nearly discounted his compliment by telling him I am the lucky one. Instead, I thanked him.

We all listened as Michelle’s father told us about the lessons he has learnt and been given in life: ‘There are many people who will take everything you have. Be careful with these people. Also, do not fall into bad company; do not be carried along by people whose influence is no good.’ As he spoke I thought of the wisdom my father has passed on to me. I couldn’t think of anything.

After Michelle’s father had left, we discussed the day. Dev, Simran and Kuldip were frozen the whole time; paralysed and unable to serve effectively or socialise at all. Ishwar was in charge which allowed me to concentrate on socialising; something which is part of my vision: to be highly capable socially. As Karaj said. ‘Talking is what makes you well.

We talked about the incident when I asked everyone to leave Matthew and me alone so that Matthew could finish writing his contribution to Michelle’s father. Dev had engaged Matthew in conversation and from the start I was looking for a way in so I could get Matthew back to the job. Simran came in and hovered, making things worse and it was only when George took the conversation on that I could say something. In effect George’s energy gave me the energy to say what I needed to say.

People drifted home. It had been another success at the house. I enjoyed myself in the end, but being on duty at such functions is not easy, especially when others are not performing well and there is no confidence in their ability to do their jobs. I need to get more involved in learning how to serve properly. Afterwards, I helped Karaj prepare for the two-day course he is giving in Cambridge, starting tomorrow.

Before Karaj departed, we chatted about the fact that Kuldip has no clue what we are doing here. I started missing Karaj even before he left. So much has been going on here with so many people present over the last two weeks that it will strange to have the place to myself for a few days. I phoned the B&B to inform them Karaj would be arriving late. The woman complained about the lateness of the call but soon warmed to my kind and apologetic disposition. Especially when I helped her out with Karaj’s morning dietary needs: full English.

Summary: A great day. I need more practice in serving and hosting functions. Contributed to people. Doing well. Don’t get cocky.


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