Curtailing My Choice

Monday 16 June, 2003

I chatted with Karaj about our partnership. Karaj: ‘You bring the credibility and I bring the relationship. That’s how we can work together for the rest of our lives. You have discretion. You are pleasing but firm and people do things for you.

We had talked in last night’s group about our connections and the strength and support we have here, especially from Karaj. We had also talked about people’s choices (or not) of being here. Karaj had explained that Simran has no choice but to be here. Dev has two choices and seems to be taking the path of integrity. Priya also has two choices but has yet to choose. I was confused about what he said for me because I seem to have a choice and yet I have no choice. I was unsure what he meant so I clarified it with him this evening: I have a choice to leave here any time I want and I choose to stay. I have curtailed my choice. Dev and Priya have not done so fully.

Summary: An excellent day off. Again, my calmness is obvious. However, Karaj and I are both tired all the time. My tiredness is another of these phases which follow growth, but this one is bigger than (and different to?) the others I have had.


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