Good & Getting Better

Sunday 22 June, 2003

After lunch, I read my Sicily appraisals. Robert showed the same ignorance of support as Priya. I chatted with Karaj in the garden. He thanked us for our support yesterday. Just like Sicily, the men were there when he needed us. We talked about Priya and Robert and their lack of any concept of support. Karaj asked me to ring Priya and talk to her about it.
I spent 15 minutes preparing the call: 1) She does not see the support, 2) does not acknowledge the support and 3) ran away from Ishwar’s and Dev’s support yesterday. 4) Robert was the same in Sicily.

I called Priya to talk about her issue of support. We spoke for 40 minutes during which I told her she has no concept of support. She confirmed this saying that she can see my interaction and the effects when I acknowledge people’s support but she cannot see the first part: the actual support. She is numbed by it. Cognitively she understands it. She went on to tell me that her Child needs to understand it. I told her it has more to do with her Parent but that was something she needs to discuss with Karaj.

With her house she knows she’s being supported but she cannot see it. I talked about Ishwar and his appraisal: the support we gave him and the acknowledgement in the form of his boss’s appraisal read out in the Wednesday Group. Again, Priya could feel the second part, but there was confusion about the first part – she was ‘unsure, almost not trusting’. She thanked me for the phone call

I felt high from the call; mostly because my insights were wholly confirmed and partly because it was a nice connection with Priya. I reminded myself however, that she will have no concept of what I have done for her. This is important. I also felt excited about reporting back to Karaj. Calm down. Get used to this becasue you are good and you’re getting better. Such accuracy and insight will occur again and again.

I reported back to Karaj on the call to Priya. With the Parent-Child issue, Karaj complimented me on knowing my boundaries. Priya tried to suck me in to the therapy and I stopped it straight away. Also, Priya does not need to understand the fundamental concept of support; she only needs evidence of it. Results. We provide the foundations through results. The clients build from the top down and then we remove the props. That’s how it was for me when I arrived here without any foundations.

Karaj and I went for dinner and chatted. The space I have had over the last few years has allowed my self to shine through. It’s funny but I hardly have any real physical room, yet I have had plenty of space to grow. I have learnt a staggering amount from Karaj, but I have integrated it into who I am. I am still myself but an improved version. Karaj told me I compliment his style very well.

Summary: A day of rest with good work in the evening: Priya and to-do list. Also good conversations with Karaj.


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