Order Out Of Chaos

Tuesday 5 August, 2003

A letter arrived from Robert. He has sent us our documents and wiped his PC of our work. The tone of his response was official and childish; it still hurts him that he left. As Karaj said the other night: people are mad at Karaj when they leave because they know they may have blown their last chance.

Read from ‘The Soul at Work’ by Lewin & Regine (2000). Peter’s company was case studied; no hierarchy and no rigid structure, so the creativity and work comes out of chaos. It emerged out of chaos and found its own direction because the people worked sufficiently for order to arise.

Supervision. Shona cannot see her qualities and so has no commitment to sorting her life out. She was loved as a child but now she blocks people’s love. She needs to love herself and allow herself to be loved. It was the same yesterday when she raised her dislike of herself after having a (pleasant) time with people the day before. She cannot accept that she’s good. She is too much into her feelings, rather than looking at herself and who she is.

Chatted with Karaj in the sunken garden. We talked about Robert’s letter. The thing is not to discard him but to look at what he has done, know that I am okay, look at why I attract these people and work on that rather than discount the people. We also chatted about the chaos theory of evolution and progress. It is happening here too. At times I cannot see it, but there is order in our ‘madness’ and that order will lead to our success, just so long as we keep working and maintaining sufficient chaos (flexibility) to take the opportunities when they come our way.

Summary: A good day. Different to my expectations but that’s the way it works (chaos). Felt high on the painkillers this morning and tired after interactions with Shona, but satisfied and calm. My lower back is stiff but a few simple asanas on a daily basis will help me.

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