Men & Women

Thursday 31 March, 2011

We’re different. And the day we realise this, our lives and our worlds become better and easier places to inhabit. When I began my training in 2000 I was invited to join the men’s group run by Karaj, my trainer. I had been a very keen footballer and many of my greatest moments in life had been as part of successful teams together with other men, working with and for each other.

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Awareness Is The Key

Tuesday 22 March, 2011

Don’t try! I don’t want you to try. You just have to see what everyone else sees.’ This instruction was often heard during my training. Whenever we used the word ‘try‘ we would be very firmly challenged. Today’s post addresses a line from the entry on this day, 11 years ago:

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20 Minutes In 20 Years

Saturday 19 March, 2011

This post is about the precious nature of human contact. I will use it to introduce the aspect of Transactional Analysis (TA) known as Strokes.

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Finding Meaning in Everything We Do

Thursday 17 March, 2011

Today’s post from 11 years ago sounds a little desperate. I read a book recently – Man’s Search for Meaning (Frankl, 1946) – sent to me by a very good friend, in which the author describes how, during his time in the concentration camps, he gained the mental strength to carry on because he found meaning in everything he did. He found meaning in his suffering.

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Analysis: It’s All In The Logo

Sunday 13 March, 2011

In 1991 an artist friend of mine told me, ‘You look, but you don’t see’. Years later during my coaching training I learned to analyse things in order to glean as much information as possible from any given situation. When we analyse we see just how much information is available and how much we can learn about something or someone.

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What a Difference a Decade Makes

Friday 11 March, 2011

This entry shows how things have changed for me with regard to how I react to situations. I have already said that one of my main issues when I started my training in 2000 was a reliance on others to look after me. This is an element of my life script (‘script’ in the TA sense). In a nutshell: I made a strategic (survival) decision very early in my life – at the latest when I was one year old – to have others look after me; especially women whose nurturing instinct I triggered all too often.

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Thursday 10 March, 2011

I worry. I know I do it and sometimes I feel powerless to prevent it. It can often seem like an instinctive reaction but, in fact, it is only a conditioned response. I also have a tendency to get overexcited and when that happens I have been known to injure myself (accidentally). My journal entry for 30th August 2001 is a good example of this although, given the format of this blog, it will not be published until 30.08.2012.

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Alone or Lonely

Wednesday 9 March, 2011

11 years ago today, I wrote about feeling alone, solitude and being on my own (‘Think-Feel-Do, Clarity & Solitude’), but I wasn’t able to put my finger on what exactly was going on. Recently I read a piece from the book ‘Hammer on the Rock‘ (Rajneesh, 1976) in which the author explains that in order to truly experience love, one must be alone. Not lonely. Alone.

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Jealousy, the Mind & Free Will

Tuesday 8 March, 2011

I received a letter recently from a friend of mine in which he talked frankly of his jealousy within his relationship. I understood because I used to get jealous, although I think with me it was much more an issue of insecurity – but then isn’t that where it all starts anyway? When I was younger I used to worry my girlfriend would find someone else better than me.

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4,017 Days

Monday 7 March, 2011

In February 2000, in England, I began working closely with an uncompromising and unconventioanl therapist called Karaj. His approach was grounded in Transactional Analysis (TA), but he believed in using everything we do and everything we experience for our self-development. Under his guidance I learnt about TA and how it applied to my own life:

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