A couple of my recent historical posts (see the related posts at the foot of this entry) have been about meeting my needs myself rather than being reliant on others to do so for me. In order to be able to do that I must first know what my needs are.

Karaj outlined it for me during my training. He put it like this:

  1. Find out what you need.
  2. Find a way of fulfilling that need.
  3. Enlist the help of people who can facilitate the process.

It is pointless to expect others to know (or worse, to guess) what our needs are. Whenever there is a lack of something in our lives – happiness, comfort, warmth, company, food, laughter – it is up to us to recognise the need in ourselves and do what is necessary to rectify the situation.

Once we are clear what it is, we can begin to work out a way to fulfil that need, which includes enlisting the help and support of the right people, who will gladly assist us. People are more than willing to help each other and we make it especially easy for them when we are clear about what we need.

We must be aware, however, of the difficulties of communication. Words can be insufficient to describe fully our thoughts and feelings, which means there is always the chance of misinterpretation. For that reason it is important to be as clear as possible when communicating our needs to others, whilst keeping in mind that only we can fully comprehend precisely what those needs are.

So, whilst it is more than okay – even advisable – to seek the help and support of others in fulfilling our needs, we are the ones who are ultimately responsible for making sure those needs are met. When we do that we empower ourselves. And we inspire those around us to do the same.

Related posts: Fears versus Facts | Keeping Good Company

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