We all have doubts and insecurities. All of us. Some have less than others, but every one of us – without exception – goes through phases when the little voice inside our heads does its utmost to undermine us with uncertainty, indecision and worry. I have had numerous conversations lately on this subject with a variety of clients and the conclusion of each one has been this: ‘See how good you are and then own it.’
It’s not as easy as it sounds. I know because Karaj was always telling me to own how good I am, and yet I struggled in those days even to see it, let alone accept it or own it.
Recognising your talents and abilities is about making an inventory of who you are. If I were to ask you to list your belongings, you could wander around your house with a pen and paper noting everything you see. Instead of recording your possessions, sit still, reflect on who you are and write it all down. List everything. If that proves too difficult, list the traits you admire in your close friends, respected family members or the people who inspire you, because the chances are that you possess the same ones.
The voice inside will want to contradict you as you write. If it does, stand firm; and also resist any temptation to challenge or dismiss what you have written. In fact, go one step further and seek the opinions of those close to you. Ask them which qualities they see in you. When they tell you how good you are, accept it. Acceptance is the stepping stone to ownership.
Ownership is about taking responsibility for who you are. That includes your strengths and your shortcomings; but for now focus on owning your wonder, your beauty and your humanity. Some people are reluctant to do this lest they appear boastful. Let me assure you, if you own how good you are, you will not boast. Those who know their greatness have no need to speak of it.
The whole process is explained in more detail in the related posts below. The first three are all about challenging the assumptions we make about ourselves, gathering evidence about the reality of who we are, and then internalising what we know to be true. Next time you doubt your abilities, refer back to what you know about yourself and own how good you are. You are undoubtedly better than you think.