Make Sure You’re Okay

Wednesday 30 July, 2014

The inspiration for this post comes from the very beginning of my training, almost 15 years ago. It was the first men’s group I attended, a few weeks before I began writing my journal. As the newest member of the group and the youngest by a number of years, it was a new experience for me and I was unsure of the format and my place in the evening’s events. So I sought solace and security in my default behaviour: say nothing and watch what happens, all the while looking for clues on how to behave and how best to fit in. I have two main memories of the occasion. The first relates to the goals I had been asked to write down prior to the group. The other is of an answer to a question, the simplicity and power of which has stayed with me ever since.

Read the rest of this entry »

300 Days

Thursday 24 July, 2014

Every day for the last 300 days I have followed a 25-minute exercise routine. It has been a goal of mine for some time to establish such a habit. There have been numerous attempts over the years with plenty of tinkering along the way to get it right. Early routines were dotted with painful episodes because I overdid things. I pushed myself too hard, in too much of a hurry to make progress. Back problems have littered all previous attempts, enticing me each time to throw in the towel. And I did give up. But I came back to it again and again. This current run is my most successful ever.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Power Of Intention

Monday 21 July, 2014

When making a phone call we would rather not make, we are inclined just to go through the motions. As a perfunctory gesture, we allow the minimum amount of rings before hanging up, relieved. Compare that to a determined approach, with a clear intention to get hold of someone. To connect. Feel that feeling and you will notice another one close by: the feeling that your success is inevitable. (Don’t get cocky.) The phone barely rings, the person picks up and the connection is complete.

Read the rest of this entry »

Separate Out The Emotions

Tuesday 8 July, 2014

Recent journal posts (from 11 years ago) highlight my inability to verbalise effectively or even appropriately. It had been a constant theme throughout my training and yet here I was still unable to do it when I really needed to. My Englishness, shyness, and please others driver were all limiting factors in this endeavour, but that does not explain how, after years of training, I was still struggling to voice where I was. Reading those entries again, it’s clear to me that the main problem was always the emotions.

Read the rest of this entry »