She pointed to a place across the main road. I registered an immediate aversion, but was carried forward by a strategy I tend to employ with her: Go wherever she goes. (Not in a subservient way, but because she so often appears fearless, and it really is a joy to behold.) We were looking for somewhere to have an iced coffee on a hot day in Hamburg, and she was intent on crossing the road. My reluctance stemmed from the name of the establishment: Deathpresso. And just in case that were not enough, peering down onto the pavement tables was the logo: a smiling, mischievous-looking skull, hollowed out and filled with coffee.

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Growing up, I was always impressed with the way my big brother seemed to have an opinion on everything. A strong one too. Even now, when I encounter someone with a firm opinion, backed up with clear argument, it’s impressive. As a teenager I looked up to my brother and how, without apology, he made it clear where he stood on any subject. I sought to emulate him, deciding one day that I should begin forming opinions of my own. But it was hard work and I just didn’t seem bothered enough by most things to care.

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Personal development is a process, and the latest seminar in this series was a chance to highlight this by summarising the previous sessions (using the example of our emotions to emphasise each stage). Knowing that there is an underlying process makes it easier for us to evaluate where we are, what we need to do, and what the likely outcome will be. It also opens the door to being able to monitor and chart our progress, which is a more powerful motivator than we could possibly imagine. In addition, recording our progress provide us with evidence of our success; evidence which becomes unexpectedly valuable during those times when the mind tries to convince us otherwise.

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What if the entire world were your very own feedback mechanism? What if every thought and feeling you have, gave you information about where you are right now. What if every conversation, every person in your life, and every experience you have, told you something about who you are and where you’re heading. Would you listen?

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As one participant highlighted during the seminar: when we surrender, there is no need to fight anymore. All too often surrender is seen as a weakness, but if we are able to see the empowerment which lies at its heart, then we feel encouraged to practise it more and more. And when we surrender our attachment to who we think we are, or how we think life works, or what we think we deserve, or what we think others expect of us, then we liberate ourselves: we become free to do whatever makes us happy, to give everything we have to whatever is in front of us and remain calm and balanced because the results – whatever they are – do not affect us.

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