Keep Clearing Your Path

Wednesday 7 October, 2020

I got married last month, and two days prior to the wedding I spoke with Karaj. He told me that our conversations over the preceding weeks had finally laid to rest the events of our early work together. He remains a master at reflection, not letting up until he feels the breakthrough, and it was the culmination of the deep analysis he has driven since 2014 that led him to declare the matter closed. My immediate thought was about about my wedding and something he taught me about the timing of breakthroughs and major insights.

Great!’ I exclaimed. Now I can get married, knowing that we have sorted something fundamental.’ There was already a lightness in his voice, but my comment brought forth a joyful excitement and satisfaction. Of course, the wedding! What a marker for a new phase of life, and what timing for us to complete this whole process just days beforehand. It was a connection he had not made, but one which was easy for me to recognise thanks to his influence in my life, because he showed me the value of clearing your path before a new phase begins.

It feels fitting, therefore, that my historical reference for this axiom comes from The Final Journal Entry. It was the last piece I wrote during those early years, and these few posts may be the last ones I’ll write on the entire experience:

Karaj assured me that this has been a script-changing day. I need to be very careful for the next few days in particular because my script will want to fight back and my body will be an easy target. Stay indoors. Stay safe. Moreover, this has all happened on the day before Divali. Tomorrow is the Hindu New Year, and I have sorted such an important issue on the final day of the outgoing year. […] I can really leave my past behind and start afresh.

Our conversation fell silent. For the briefest of moments we seemed to bask in a job well done. What a journey it had been; and an excellent lesson in the kind of persistent analysis which can extract even the most well-hidden jewels from our experiences. The three posts which follow are the closing chapter on a story which has lasted two decades. They seek to summarise the conversations which have led to where Karaj and I find ourselves today – liberated somehow from a complex web of scripts and behavioural dynamics, thwarted intentions, and deep, long-lasting consequences.

They begin with ‘Completing The Cycle’, which looks through the lens of love at why it is that I was the only one from the whole group who made it back to Karaj in any meaningful way. In ‘Always A Way Through’, I examine the very real question of just how willing people were to work on themselves when it seems now that they were more interested in keeping Karaj close but not close enough to truly benefit.

The series ends with ‘Love, Trust & Wonder’ which wraps up the whole 20-year story by assuring that the place where it all happened became a place of love and trust through the work we did, and that whilst those two qualities are the mainstay of a better world, they are perhaps the most challenging in a society which so easily withholds and stifles both.

Two days after our call, she and I got married. It was a joyous occasion. Covid restrictions meant that for most of the day we simply wandered around town – just the two of us – putting smiles on strangers faces; a heart-shaped balloon floating above us, and an exquisite wedding dress sweeping effortlessly along a clear new path.


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.