The Arena Of Transformation

Monday 17 December, 2018

The previous five posts show how it is possible to transform a difficult experience into a burgeoning source of learning and development. They also provide insight into the idea of punctuated equilibrium: how it can feel as though one is not moving (or even going backwards), before suddenly being thrust forwards onto a new level. This post is the last in this series, and takes a general look at what happened, placing it in the context of a number of different areas:

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Who Updates Your Software?

Tuesday 11 March, 2014

One click is all it takes. Sometimes two if you have to accept the new terms and conditions (which you do blindly and with the exasperation of an extra, unnecessary step.) That is all you do and the update flows into your machine, to be absorbed into your current system without any further thought or action. In the worst cases, you have to reboot your device, which is easy to put off for a while but you can’t delay it forever because eventually your software will stop working.

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Complete The Picture

Thursday 5 September, 2013

I attended a wedding last weekend. It was a wonderful occasion, as weddings so often are, and for two days afterwards I met and reflected on the whole event with some of the protagonists. We reminisced and replayed our favourite scenes, sharing our highlights and filling in missing pieces of the matrimonial jigsaw. The bride and groom even delayed their honeymoon so they could indulge in more of it, reliving the experience again and again, extending and adding to their memories by gathering their guests’ stories and recounting their own.

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Write Stuff Down

Monday 28 January, 2013

I know someone who, when she first learnt to read, ran home from school and immediately sat down to teach her younger siblings. To her it was like magic. A new world had opened up, increasing her powers a thousand-fold. She wanted to share it with everyone; and she has been a prolific reader ever since. I thought of her when I sat down to write this post because I have a similar magical feeling about writing.

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Discover When, How & Why

Monday 7 November, 2011

There are times when we find ourselves in a bad mood and cannot fully explain why. Even when we think we know, we may not have the full story. But if we take the time to look back over the period during which our mood changed, we can discover precisely when, how and why the situation shifted. All we have to do is examine events closely and accept what we find.

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Controlled Experiments

Saturday 23 April, 2011

In the previous post (‘We Already Know’) I wrote that we already have the answers we are looking for. But how can we be sure? How do we distinguish the genuine from the misleading? One question I remember raising with Karaj early in my training was, ‘How do I know the thought/feeling I’m having is genuine and not a construct of my mind?’

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Analysis, Awareness & Inspiration

Friday 15 April, 2011

Today’s journal entry from 11 years ago (‘Navigating Our Way’) is typical of the work I did during my training and the work I do now with my clients. The entry is an analysis of the kind of discounting feeling which occurs all too often and which, until we observe it and see it clearly, will persist.

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Analysis: It’s All In The Logo

Sunday 13 March, 2011

In 1991 an artist friend of mine told me, ‘You look, but you don’t see’. Years later during my coaching training I learned to analyse things in order to glean as much information as possible from any given situation. When we analyse we see just how much information is available and how much we can learn about something or someone.

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Taking Control & A Resolution

Friday 3 October, 2003

I must have slept well because I didn’t wake up once and never heard the alarm. I went for a short walk but could barely move. My back is stiff; but my groin is the worst. I can barely move my left leg. Walked off some of the annoyance. Returned to find Karaj not around for the second day running. Maybe he has been pushed into action just like me; that would be nice. Maybe he is sulking somewhere.

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Moving Forward Together

Saturday 20 September, 2003

After breakfast, George and I made a start on his report to the head of his school. He wasn’t clear on the overall picture and when Karaj came he initiated a detailed analysis, giving George the headings he needs to consider. The point here is that, once again, we should aim to exceed expectations when we write such things.

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Working With The Ego States

Friday 19 September, 2003

I did not get to sleep until about 02:00 last night despite going to bed early. After a planning meeting this morning, with Karaj and Simran, I did my exercises. I felt energised afterwards and had a couple of insights during the session: 1) I needed to have carried on working last night because I couldn’t sleep anyway. 2) I appreciate Simran’s presence when he is here (and how Karaj deals with it) because he works with Karaj and I am free to get on with my work.

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The Analysis Workshop

Saturday 13 September, 2003

I had woken up yesterday feeling good physically and mentally. It was the best I have felt in weeks. Unfortunately, I woke up this morning in a very different mood: annoyed, because my back had seized up. I also had Simran, Dev, Priya and Michelle traipsing thorough the space where I sleep, which just made things worse.

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Have Fun

Sunday 7 September, 2003

Dev called and we talked about choices. You choose what you want. Yesterday I saw clearly the choice I have made to live. Any doubts or temptations are made less powerful because I have already made choices. Dev talked of wanting to have his childhood again so he can make it perfect and not turn out the way he has. I assured him there is no point dwelling too much on the past, adding that what I have learnt about my parents in recent years has made me angry, but it has shown me that who I am is not necessarily me. Essentially, I am a result of my parental conditioning (as well as my familial, ancestral, cultural and societal conditioning).

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Trying To Prove Myself

Sunday 24 August, 2003

Yesterday, on the final part of my journey to the house, I bumped into a very old friend, Will, with whom I had long since lost contact. It was lovely to see him again; especially considering that our last meeting in 1997 had not been the best. When I talked to him about how little I have – whilst my friends all have houses, relationships, families, good jobs, cars and money – he offered me some perspective because he has even less than I do. He helped me see that I have more than I realise. Much more.

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