The Paradox Of No Choice

Friday 30 June, 2017

Having emphasised in the previous post the influence of choice on our lives – the unconscious nature of so many of our daily choices, and the need for awareness in order to make better ones – it can also be very helpful to have no choice at all. More specifically, it can be helpful to give yourself no choice. Having no option but to pursue a certain course of action means there is no internal dialogue; no time or energy wasted flipping between need and desire (‘I should but I don’t want to!’). You have to do it, so you get on with it.

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The Choice Is Always Yours

Thursday 22 June, 2017

Every action, every word, every thought is a choice we make and for which we are responsible. What we seldom realise is that we have always been choosing. We may have been conditioned by others to make certain choices – and to make them over and over again – but we always had the freedom to make different ones, no matter how limited that freedom may have seemed. We have been choosing for so long, and doing so thousands of times every day, that our choices have become automatic, passive, unconscious, habitual. Over time, familiar pathways gradually become furrows, deeper and deeper, so that even if we become aware of them, it can seem too difficult to find a way out.

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When You Know It’s Possible

Tuesday 20 December, 2016

As difficult as things may seem sometimes, when you know something is possible, it is much easier to continue to strive for it. Seeing someone else do it and knowing it is not completely out of reach, alters your outlook. It lifts your spirits and helps you to keep going. Even more significantly, when you see what others can do, and you realise that there are things beyond what you thought possible, it can change everything. This post is a form of encouragement to keep going with your development, and offers an indication of the heights which can be scaled with something as simple as daily practice.

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Commitment To Yourself

Monday 22 December, 2014

I was restless when I arrived for the final visit of the year. I had expected to conclude my blog in October (this is the final entry), but the timing of our previous get-together had offered an acceptable extension into November, which then crept almost unnoticed into December. I had also lost a little of the clarity and enthusiasm which had accompanied me the last time I saw him. I wondered whether we would be able to create something as special as the previous four visits. And I wondered whether our plans to collaborate in the future were as solid as they have felt all year. He told me later that he’d had his doubts too.

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A Vision For My Future

Wednesday 8 October, 2014

This post is for me. They all are really, but as one period of my life reaches its natural conclusion, the intention behind this piece is to define my pathway for the next phase of my development. I have referenced the imminent end to this blog on numerous occasions, but now there are only 16 days before the final journal entry is published, and it is becoming clear why my time at the house came to an end. In the last entries my annoyance reaches its peak and, whilst there are sporadic windows of relief and reassurance that everything might be fine if I stayed, there is a creeping inevitability about my departure.

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Self-Responsibility

Monday 11 August, 2014

Thirteen years ago I spent four days bed-ridden in the accident & emergency department. There were insufficient beds to move me upstairs, so I remained among the organised chaos of A&E. I witnessed all kinds of people arriving at various times of the day and night, with a multitude of complaints; every one of them attended to by doctors who were often baffled by their symptoms. This post follows on from the previous two and makes the point that one of the best ways to prosper is to take care of your own well-being.

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300 Days

Thursday 24 July, 2014

Every day for the last 300 days I have followed a 25-minute exercise routine. It has been a goal of mine for some time to establish such a habit. There have been numerous attempts over the years with plenty of tinkering along the way to get it right. Early routines were dotted with painful episodes because I overdid things. I pushed myself too hard, in too much of a hurry to make progress. Back problems have littered all previous attempts, enticing me each time to throw in the towel. And I did give up. But I came back to it again and again. This current run is my most successful ever.

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Complete Commitment

Friday 7 February, 2014

I felt it when we spoke on the phone in January, but being with Karaj over the past couple of days, it has been unavoidable. It’s an aspect of the man which had slipped from my memory in the years since my training, but which permeates every conversation we have: his commitment to his journey. He is more committed than anyone I have ever met to sorting himself out, releasing every last hint of residual pain or conflict, and cleansing his soul forever.

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It All Comes Down To This

Monday 14 October, 2013

When we forget the simplicity of it all, or we’re convinced there must be another way; when we are stuck, or frustrated by the lack of novelty, this is the post to read. It’s a reminder of the value of repetition and practise. Every day, every minute, every breath. In the end, it all comes down to this:

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Default Setting: Everyone Is Okay

Friday 17 October, 2003

I welcomed Simran, made tea for him and Karaj, and the three of us sat together. Karaj dictated a long letter to Michelle on her performance last night, detailing the thousands of pounds in costs from her messing around. He went on to say that the reason he is angry with me is that I do not see that we are tackling the negativity of the whole of society and the world itself.

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The Ultimate Commitment

Tuesday 16 September, 2003

Two days ago, after Karaj left for London to take a few days off, I reflected on where I am: I’m feeling good. Physically I am still in pain but I have motivation to exercise, even though it is tough right now. There is a numbness in my left leg and especially in my foot which seems worse than usual, coupled with the uncomfortable pain in my groin. I wonder what’s happening to my leg. Simply observe. Don’t try and do anything. It was a quiet, yet productive day. I spent time with Simran which was fine. He did not irritate me and it was clear that he is doing his best to sort himself out.

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Order Out Of Chaos

Tuesday 5 August, 2003

A letter arrived from Robert. He has sent us our documents and wiped his PC of our work. The tone of his response was official and childish; it still hurts him that he left. As Karaj said the other night: people are mad at Karaj when they leave because they know they may have blown their last chance.

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Be Pure, Clear & Straight

Wednesday 9 July, 2003

Two days ago Karaj and I discussed where we are. Neither of us is currently in the space to do anything. We are tired and in pain, so we took a much-needed and well-deserved day off and went to the beach.

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Agitation & Calm

Thursday 19 June, 2003

I need to settle down. I am all over the place at the moment. No clarity. Agitation but no real focus. Both Karaj and I are agitated. He more so than I. Priya arrived. She still knocked, even though she has a key, saying: ‘I thought I’d give you guys warning in case I was disturbing you.’ Bloody hell. What does she think we do here?

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