Friendship & The True Self

Saturday 16 September, 2017

The wedding I wrote about in the previous post was more than a wedding for me. I came away from it contemplating the nature of the connections with my friends. I was struck by their solid nature and uplifting effect, regardless of how transient or tenuous the friendships may be. Eventually my thoughts led me to another connection: the one between the worldly self and the true self. This post is about how our long-standing friendships can help us connect more firmly with who we truly are.

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Inhabiting The Silence

Friday 17 February, 2017

During a conversation this week about my desire to be quieter, a friend demonstrated the kind of action I associate with people who are in tune with themselves. Pausing for a moment, she reflected before offering the thought which had come to her. Conveying messages in such a way suggests that we are sometimes just channels for each other; gateways, open to the infinite, allowing whatever is on the other side to pass through in its purest form. The information appears to come from nowhere, and when we honour our role in its delivery we are able to glimpse the simplicity of the universe.

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The material for the first part of this seminar was taken from the blog post, ‘Discovering The True Self’. That piece talks about the quiet space inside us from where we can observe the surface-level of our worldly existence. It is a place of awareness which allows us to see more clearly that veneer of being where we spend most of our time, distracted by the shiny stuff of life, the bright lights, and the thoughts and emotions which accompany us there.

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The Power Of Intention

Monday 21 July, 2014

When making a phone call we would rather not make, we are inclined just to go through the motions. As a perfunctory gesture, we allow the minimum amount of rings before hanging up, relieved. Compare that to a determined approach, with a clear intention to get hold of someone. To connect. Feel that feeling and you will notice another one close by: the feeling that your success is inevitable. (Don’t get cocky.) The phone barely rings, the person picks up and the connection is complete.

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Leading From Within

Friday 20 June, 2014

This post takes its title from a workshop I was invited to give this week to a global leadership academy. Leadership begins with the self and I wanted people to gain insight into the many thoughts and feelings we have every day, and to share their respective experiences. When we harness the information our mind and body continually make available to us, we become incredibly effective. Observation, reflection and feedback are the mainstays of this work but, ultimately, it’s about connecting with the self first, in order to be able to connect with others.

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What Do We Have For Each Other?

Monday 19 May, 2014

For years I had a thought: that people who find themselves sitting next to each other on trains, park benches or pavement cafés, might share something of themselves, find a connection and discover the gift each has for the other. I attended an event on Saturday whose goal was the same: to bring people together in order that they may share, connect and discover. All day people did exactly that in pockets of conversation fostered easily by the workshops and the organisers who, once again, did an excellent job.

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Note To Self: Accept Invitations

Monday 24 March, 2014

As an introvert, my default position when I receive an invitation is almost always: No thanks. (Notable exceptions include weddings, some birthdays and close friends.) I am aware of my reluctance, which means it is less likely to influence me. I also understand that too much of anything can be harmful (in this case, isolation) and my experience tells me that social situations can actually be fun, so I tend to accept invites more easily these days. But not automatically.

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Olive Oil & Serving Spoons

Sunday 9 February, 2014

This is a delightful example of completing the picture; the procedure of relating both or all sides of a shared experience. It creates clarity, provides learning opportunities and enhances the connection between people. I shared two meals with Karaj and it was only a fortuitous mistake with the second meal which led to us revealing our respective thoughts from the first. To begin with, here is my side of the story:

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It All Comes Down To This

Monday 14 October, 2013

When we forget the simplicity of it all, or we’re convinced there must be another way; when we are stuck, or frustrated by the lack of novelty, this is the post to read. It’s a reminder of the value of repetition and practise. Every day, every minute, every breath. In the end, it all comes down to this:

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Nourishing Connections

Wednesday 12 June, 2013

I went to London last week and for the entire time I was there I connected. I connected with people who are very close to me; with people I hadn’t seen for years; and even one person I hadn’t seen for decades. I connected with people I’d never seen before and people I’ll undoubtedly never see again. This post is about the appreciation of those connections. Appreciation in both senses: of gratitude and of becoming more valuable over time. They left me feeling as though they had nourished my soul.

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Challenging Our Assumptions

Wednesday 19 December, 2012

A week ago I was challenged to leave my comfort zone. I saw it coming and my immediate response was to resist. Fortunately my motivation to take up the challenge was greater. It was all part of a coaching course I was attending and during this particular session I had been talking with one of the coaches about my reluctance to make the first move in social interactions. At best I feel awkward; at worst, anxious and ready to leave. The coach knew my travel arrangements for that evening and our closing dialogue went something like this:

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Make A Connection

Monday 24 October, 2011

There are a few phrases I remember very well from my training because I heard them so often. One of them was a challenge that could be heard in the silences which sometimes followed people’s contributions to the group: ‘Make a connection, people. Make a connection.’ Each time he said it, Karaj was asking us to connect with each other. Nothing else. Just connect. He always urged us to look for the humanity in people and this was allied to that.

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What’s With This Anger?

Saturday 4 October, 2003

I woke up and got ready for my walk: groin okay, back not bad, mind subdued. As I walked, only one thought came to me: What is the difference between being with my anger fully and holding on to it? And if I am with it fully will it drag me down?

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Greater Clarity

Saturday 3 May, 2003

Karaj, Priya, Ishwar, Kuldip, Michelle and I spent the day working in the garden – putting the finishing touches to C1 and the lock on C2. Karaj pointed out that my voice was like one of Simran’s sons. His indication was that someone has to replace Simran because he is not here today. I did not fully understand this concept so, during the next break, we discussed it. As with the positive parenting model – where we aim, through contact with positive role models, to create positive examples in ourselves which eventually find expression, so it is with the negative people we meet. They get into our psyches and find expression sooner or later.

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