Imagine You’re Already There

Wednesday 31 August, 2016

I stood in my own way twice in one week. The solution each time lay in my imagination. The first example came following a discussion with a friend. It was an uplifting dialogue, a meeting of minds, but it left me feeling anything but energised. Having described my preferred working arrangement – a combination of individual clients, group work, seminars, talks, writing, and reflection – she asked me a simple, yet disarming question: ‘Do you affirm that every day?’ My response was a brief ‘No’. I felt caught out and inclined to explain myself; a sure sign that I’m being made to see something important.

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TS 10 – Calibrate The Machine

Thursday 16 June, 2016

Whereas last week we focused on those aspects of ourselves which are also visible to other people, this week’s seminar looked at the more subtle aspects of our existence  – those signals which only we can be aware of because they come from within. They are the thoughts, feelings and intuitive sensations which are often so subtle that we don’t even notice them; or if we do, we ignore them, or we explain them away as being ridiculous or irrelevant. Life gets easier, however, when we listen to those subtleties.

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The People We Meet

Sunday 8 June, 2014

They say true wealth is measured not by money, but by how much time we have to do whatever we like. Similarly, we can measure how congruent we are by the people in our lives and the people we meet. This post is a comment on the fact that the people we meet are a reflection of ourselves. They are signposts informing us where we are in life; and our connection with them helps to shed light on whether we should continue on our particular path or make changes. In addressing this, I make a distinction between two environments: one which served me well but was not my goal; and one which brings more harmony.

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The Subtlety Of Feeling

Tuesday 27 May, 2014

On one particular day last month, a client was struggling to get himself going. He had a routine and a plan, and he had procedures in place for when things got difficult, but whenever he tried to get into his work his efforts were thwarted; partly by a lack of motivation but also – and predominantly – by external conditions: a telephone call, technical problems, unexpected visitors. We had spoken often enough about dealing with such obstacles, but on this occasion I shifted the focus to a more detailed level.

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Note To Self: Accept Invitations

Monday 24 March, 2014

As an introvert, my default position when I receive an invitation is almost always: No thanks. (Notable exceptions include weddings, some birthdays and close friends.) I am aware of my reluctance, which means it is less likely to influence me. I also understand that too much of anything can be harmful (in this case, isolation) and my experience tells me that social situations can actually be fun, so I tend to accept invites more easily these days. But not automatically.

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Calibrate The Machine

Friday 20 December, 2013

The more familiar you are with your core self, the easier it is to identify and deal with how your direct environment affects you. But with everything going on around you, how can you tell the difference between what is you and what you might be picking up – or have picked up years ago – from others? From day one we are so busy improving and developing that we hardly have time to catch our breath, let alone take stock or come to rest. Progress implies motion, so when do we have the chance to stop and reflect? And how do we calibrate who we really are?

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Complete The Picture

Thursday 5 September, 2013

I attended a wedding last weekend. It was a wonderful occasion, as weddings so often are, and for two days afterwards I met and reflected on the whole event with some of the protagonists. We reminisced and replayed our favourite scenes, sharing our highlights and filling in missing pieces of the matrimonial jigsaw. The bride and groom even delayed their honeymoon so they could indulge in more of it, reliving the experience again and again, extending and adding to their memories by gathering their guests’ stories and recounting their own.

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Life In The Middle

Monday 18 February, 2013

Many years ago a colleague of mine talked to me about living life along a steady, unmoving line between the emotional highs and lows I seemed addicted to at the time. They manifested themselves most noticeably in the weekly rhythm of Fridays and Mondays, fuelling each other in a never-ending cycle of ups and downs. The purity of the joy I felt on a Friday afternoon, with the whole weekend ahead of me, would be matched 2½ days later by the despondency of a Monday morning; the weekend banished to a memory and my mood compounded by having to face another five days before I could feel that joy again.

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The Importance Of Feelings

Monday 6 June, 2011

This is a big topic, so this post confines itself to a summary of the latest three journal entries from 11 years ago, which place the emphasis on deciphering my own feelings rather than worrying about other people’s; and making a conscious choice to feel rather than analyse when listening to someone. The post looks briefly at the evolution of the brain and explains why feelings are so important in our daily lives.

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My Battle Is With Myself

Thursday 2 October, 2003

Woke up with a stiff body from sleeping on the floor, and extremely annoyed. The exercises were very hard work to start with, but I stuck at it. I decided to go for a walk and left Karaj a note that we need to talk. I am annoyed with him, Simran, the work I do and the work he does. I walked and walked until I was calm. I wrote notes all the way as they came to me. With each note my head and body cleared itself. Two and a half hours later I was buoyant, determined and ready for the next phase.

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That’s More Like It

Friday 1 August, 2003

Awake. The tiredness seems to be getting worse. Simran arrived 09.05 and the two of us sat together with Karaj. They talked about the Wednesday Group. Simran argued half-heartedly for its continuation. Karaj put him straight that we cannot afford to take any risks. It is still 2003 and things will get more and more difficult as we reach the end of the year. There was also mention of how light things are here now that Kuldip is no longer around.

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Tired Of It All

Friday 18 July, 2003

Dev called this morning. I got annoyed with him and told him to be clear about what he wants and when he wants it. He complicates things so easily. I do that, too. With Karaj I was withdrawn and argumentative. He told me to ask him how he was feeling, yet when I did he instructed me to think about it. I suggested that maybe that’s why I don’t ever ask him, because he tells me to reflect on it first.

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Just Keep Going

Tuesday 15 July, 2003

In the presence of Ishwar, Serena and Simran, Karaj said this: ‘I had two previous clients who came here to con me and prove me wrong. Simran (& Priya) are doing the same. Jonathan came here to seek the truth. That is why he is still here. So I have Jonathan and Ishwar working at the top level. Let’s move forward. George is getting there and he will bring Leon with him.

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Communication Of A Simple Feeling

Sunday 29 June, 2003

After welcoming people, I relaxed in the sunken garden, finding some more of that precious time to myself. I needed it. In the subsequent supervision (with Karaj, Dev, Priya, Michelle, Shona, Simran and me), Karaj challenged Priya about her attitude. He told her he gives people every opportunity and then cuts them off. I related it to the relationships I’d had in which I had given everything I had to give and then walked away (with a clear conscience). Priya understood this because she had done the same with her last boyfriend. This allowed Karaj to show her that at last she’d had an insight into the situation she is in. Either she sorts herself out or she will be cut off once Karaj has given all he has to give.

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