Another Step Forward

Wednesday 28 November, 2018

The anger turned to sadness, but still there seemed no way out. There was some shame, too, as there always is, because as hard as I work and as long as I have been focused on improvement, such lapses as I describe in the previous post, always make me wonder whether I am actually getting anywhere. This post and the three which follow are meant to record, in case I doubt myself again, that I am getting somewhere. They also detail how written reflection and a well-intentioned, open discussion are key to dispelling the clouds which obscure the purity of who we truly are.

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Tending Your Garden

Tuesday 20 November, 2018

Over the years it became overgrown.
But it was cared for once,
At the beginning.
By others who loved and nurtured it.

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The Team & The Individual

Monday 15 October, 2018

The best thing you can do for your team is to work on yourself. If everyone does that, and people support each other in their respective development, the team will grow and mature. So, too, will the individual. PRACTICE and DISCIPLINE are the foundations of the work. They are qualities you will need to return to again and again as you seek to change certain habits. It can be difficult at first, but if you pay close attention you will be able to SEE YOUR PROGRESS, no matter how small. And it’s important that you see the small steps, because if you wait for the big leaps you will easily become downhearted.

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When The Novelty Wears Off

Friday 15 June, 2018

The novelty has well and truly worn off my latest attempt to create a new habit. Six weeks ago it began with the intention to get up very early every day and exercise, meditate and write. As I wrote in the previous post, that intention transformed itself a few times, finally becoming a desire to improve my sleeping habits by training my mind more. (This has been an issue for me for years, which itself is a demonstration of the habit forming process – repetition over time.)

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Outside & Inside

Friday 20 April, 2018

As explored in the previous two posts*, we need regular reminders in order to remain on track with the life we prefer to lead and the person we wish to be. Those reminders can be simple instructions; or they can take the form of retreats, where we immerse ourselves in our lifestyle of choice and gain some momentum to take back with us into our regular lives.

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The List

Wednesday 16 August, 2017

What follows is a list of many of the most important pieces from this blog. The list makes it easy for you to understand at a glance what is necessary in this work. It takes you through the process of self-development and self-realisation – from awareness, observation and reflection, and back to awareness – offering you guidance on what to expect along the way and what you can do to help yourself.

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The Choice Is Always Yours

Thursday 22 June, 2017

Every action, every word, every thought is a choice we make and for which we are responsible. What we seldom realise is that we have always been choosing. We may have been conditioned by others to make certain choices – and to make them over and over again – but we always had the freedom to make different ones, no matter how limited that freedom may have seemed. We have been choosing for so long, and doing so thousands of times every day, that our choices have become automatic, passive, unconscious, habitual. Over time, familiar pathways gradually become furrows, deeper and deeper, so that even if we become aware of them, it can seem too difficult to find a way out.

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Yesterday I Was Clever

Wednesday 22 February, 2017

A common desire which people express about their interactions with others, is their wish to see the other person change, or grow, or at least move away from what seem to be unhelpful ways of doing things. We all recognise it. We have all felt the same about someone close to us – a friend, a colleague, or a loved one. The thing is, we cannot change anyone, and the sooner we learn this, the better it is for everyone. The title of this post is taken from a poet’s words about the desire to change others and the wisdom it eventually brings:

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Reality’s Shopkeeper

Tuesday 13 September, 2016

She stands behind the counter, waiting patiently for you to arrive. She has all the time in the world and will wait forever because infinity is something she is comfortable with, and because she sees her work as the highest form of service. Every day she has the chance to make dreams come true and bring joy to whoever walks into her shop. You see, she has an infinite stockroom, with infinite shelves, holding every imaginable reality. She is your servant and will bring you whatever you wish for. You just have to tell her what it is.

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Imagine You’re Already There

Wednesday 31 August, 2016

I stood in my own way twice in one week. The solution each time lay in my imagination. The first example came following a discussion with a friend. It was an uplifting dialogue, a meeting of minds, but it left me feeling anything but energised. Having described my preferred working arrangement – a combination of individual clients, group work, seminars, talks, writing, and reflection – she asked me a simple, yet disarming question: ‘Do you affirm that every day?’ My response was a brief ‘No’. I felt caught out and inclined to explain myself; a sure sign that I’m being made to see something important.

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The seminar was about the power of thought and how, by creating clarity for ourselves in everything we do, we can improve our lives in a very simple way. It was the best seminar so far. It was also the one with the lowest attendance, which not only highlighted one of the main points of the session – that thoughts influence feelings – it also offered an example of an important aspect of personal development: non-attachment. But more of that later. Here is a brief summary of the seminar’s contents, with links to the relevant blog entries. (The corresponding page numbers of the book are in brackets.)

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TS 1 – Behaviour Patterns

Monday 18 April, 2016

On the afternoon of the first Tuesday Seminar, I sat in the sunshine outside my favourite café to prepare myself. I had my book with me and as I flicked through it, willing inspiration to leap from its pages, a man approached me from the next table and asked where I got it from. He explained that he had read the café’s copy on occasion and was interested to read more. I smiled, informed him that I had written it, and invited him to join me. He sat down and we chatted for an hour. Later that evening he came to the seminar, brought his girlfriend with him, and when it was all over he purchased a copy of the book.

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The Power Of Intention

Monday 21 July, 2014

When making a phone call we would rather not make, we are inclined just to go through the motions. As a perfunctory gesture, we allow the minimum amount of rings before hanging up, relieved. Compare that to a determined approach, with a clear intention to get hold of someone. To connect. Feel that feeling and you will notice another one close by: the feeling that your success is inevitable. (Don’t get cocky.) The phone barely rings, the person picks up and the connection is complete.

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Be Careful What You Wish For

Thursday 8 May, 2014

Every birthday was a chance to make a wish, and throughout my childhood I only remember wishing for two things: a pair of roller skates when I was very young, and a proper leather football. Those wishes spanned close to a decade but it was only some years later that I realised both had come true. For the last 25 years I have been wishing for my health and well-being. As with the roller skates and the football, they too have come my way. This post assumes that wishes can come true and asks the inevitable question: if we get what we wish for, then maybe what we already have is something for which we have already wished.

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