The List

Wednesday 16 August, 2017

What follows is a list of the most important and most helpful pieces from this blog. The list makes it easy for you to understand at a glance what is necessary in this work. It takes you through the process of self-development and self-realisation – from awareness, observation and reflection… and back to awareness – offering you guidance on what to expect along the way and what you can do to help yourself.

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When You Know It’s Possible

Tuesday 20 December, 2016

As difficult as things may seem sometimes, when you know something is possible, it is much easier to continue to strive for it. Seeing someone else do it and knowing it is not completely out of reach, alters your outlook. It lifts your spirits and helps you to keep going. Even more significantly, when you see what others can do, and you realise that there are things beyond what you thought possible, it can change everything. This post is a form of encouragement to keep going with your development, and offers an indication of the heights which can be scaled with something as simple as daily practice.

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Journeys Within Journeys

Thursday 2 October, 2014

In the days before I set off to spend a month in the sunshine, there was reluctance. I had booked the trip primarily out of need, rather than desire. Desire alone would not have sufficed to make it happen, because I have come to value routine over adventure; repetition over novelty. These past weeks have re-awakened the adventurous side of my character in the most gentle way possible: within the secure friendship of good people, and in a beautiful, warm part of the world where everything was in place for me to create my normal routine, meet new people, indulge ever more effortlessly in new experiences, and see myself in sharper focus.

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It’s Your Playground

Sunday 29 June, 2014

Whenever the last people left on Sunday nights, my first reaction was always relief because I could finally have some time and space to myself. But there was envy too. I envied them for the lives they all had outside the house, away from the furnace of self-development we had created for ourselves. They were able to leave the analysis and self-reflection for a few days, allow the wounds of the weekend to heal, and get on with their respective lives. For me it was different. When I locked the door behind them, I knew there was no other place for me to go. I had cornered myself into an existence devoted almost exclusively to personal development.

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The Hardest Part

Friday 1 November, 2013

One week ago this blog entered its final year. The mainstay of what is written in these pages is the journal I kept throughout my training. On 24th October 2014 I will publish the last entry, but between now and then stands a year of struggle as I am challenged day after day by my trainer, Karaj. This post serves as a reminder that the final part of any journey can be difficult. It also describes the kind of man Karaj was, and why working with him was so effective.

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Just To Recap…

Monday 22 April, 2013

For those of you new to this blog, here is the essence of the story so far: Karaj was an unconventional therapist, whose lack of social skills meant he could cut through people’s games and surface-level politeness to see straight to the core of what it means to be human. I spent four years learning as much as I could from him. Early on I asked him how he did it. He replied, ‘It’s simple. Anyone can do it. I’ll show you.’ And he did. And he was right, it is simple. But the process of getting there was hard.

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Be True To Who You Think You Are

Thursday 7 March, 2013

Four people, four stories. All of them different, but all with something in common. Two are bound by family, two by career, and they stand like four points on a compass; connected opposites. The first person is aiming for a promotion he’s not sure he wants. The second is downsizing his career against all the logic of ambition. The third is constrained by what he thinks his family wants for him, and the fourth has to decide whether or not to have a family of his own.

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Note To Self: Fight

Thursday 15 November, 2012

There is always another perspective. It makes no difference how we view what is happening to us, there is more than one way of seeing things. For example, when events don’t go our way we have the option to give up or fight on. This post is a reminder to myself as much as anyone that no matter how much we may be tempted to surrender to what we believe our fate to be, there is another path we can choose. One which sees us stand up and fight.

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Review the Year

Friday 30 December, 2011

At a time when people are busy formulating their resolutions for the coming year, it is more important to look back over the year just gone to remember and acknowledge the journey we have taken. In fact, when we do so, it is easier to see where we want to go in the year ahead. It’s like drawing a graph of our progress. Plotting just one point (the here and now) on the graph is meaningless. We need more data to give our graph perspective. With the addition of a few more points our trajectory becomes visible, and the more positions we plot the more accurate our extrapolation can be.

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Enjoy The Journey

Friday 30 September, 2011

It is not uncommon for my clients to express concern; to worry about the attainment of their goals. When they do, my advice is always the same: assume you will get there and then enjoy the journey. Achieving the latter helps to guarantee success with the former. This post is about just that: enjoying the whole process, safe in the knowledge that you will succeed.

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Am I the Person I Wish to Be?

Tuesday 5 July, 2011

Today’s post from 11 years ago (’Not My Best Day’) paints an unsatisfactory picture of myself. But that is okay because my development was a work in progress. It was not finished. It still isn’t. But today, looking back at that version of myself, I know things turned out okay.

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Preparing To Leave

Thursday 23 October, 2003

I woke up wondering what last night was all about. So much resolution to act, and yet this morning it seems to have weakened. I thought more about what I need to do and quickly got back into the frame of mind I was in last night. I need to sort things out. First I tried to phone Ishwar but it was engaged. I went for a walk in the crisp sunshine of Autumn, phoning Ishwar from phone boxes along the way. It remained engaged and then, at the end, there was no answer. Nevertheless, I was beginning to feel lighter and more relaxed at the prospect of leaving here, and spent the day making preparations.

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Sorting Myself Out

Friday 23 May, 2003

I received a letter from my brother. At one point he wrote: ‘You’re right (you usually are).’ This surprised me. Respect from my brother. He has never disrespected me as such, but I have always felt inferior to him (and dad). Comparisons! The rest of the letter was typically him: straight, sarcastic, loving and caring. I was moved. He is okay, and the straightness of his words touched me deeply.

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As Special As It Gets

Friday 31 January, 2003

The past week has been a relatively quiet and restful one. Below are the main comments and observations from the last seven days. The title of the post is taken from the final line of the final point. It relates to a conversation Karaj and I had about the journey to enlightenment.

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