A Mental Breakthrough

Tuesday 11 December, 2018

The fourth meeting was the sales pitch we had been working towards for the past few months. It took place at a company in Amsterdam, but had been in jeopardy up until a week before. In light of earlier events, we were not sure whether it should go ahead. I needed to be ready and it looked very much as if I wasn’t. Thankfully, our reflection session opened the door again, and on the day itself, having delivered a good pitch in rehearsal, I practised it another three or four times to myself. I was ready.

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This Is Not Who You Are

Wednesday 5 December, 2018

The words came when she asked me how I wanted to be in the third meeting. We agreed on open, loving and calm. She wrote them on my hand because it was far from certain whether I could embody them. I was still smouldering on the inside, struggling to extricate my Self from myself. As it turned out, it was a breeze. The reflection session went very well.

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Another Step Forward

Wednesday 28 November, 2018

The anger turned to sadness, but still there seemed no way out. There was some shame, too, as there always is, because as hard as I work and as long as I have been focused on improvement, such lapses as I describe in the previous post, always make me wonder whether I am actually getting anywhere. This post and the three which follow are meant to record, in case I doubt myself again, that I am getting somewhere. They also detail how written reflection and a well-intentioned, open discussion are key to dispelling the clouds which obscure the purity of who we truly are.

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TS 16 – What Happens When We Let Go?

Thursday 27 October, 2016

The last word came from the audience. Having spent much of the seminar looking at why it is so difficult for us to let go – of words, thoughts, feelings, relationships, habits, etc. – we turned our attention to the advantages of releasing ourselves from whatever does not serve us: relief, freedom, space for new things, and the achievement itself of letting go. It was then that the question came: Is some kind of healing possible? Yes. Absolutely. We can heal ourselves by releasing whatever we’ve been carrying; especially when there was never any need to carry it in the first place.

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Letting Go On The Bridge

Wednesday 21 September, 2016

There is a bridge near my apartment across which I cycle most days. It has a slalom element at each end which makes it fun to negotiate, especially when the bridge is empty. Every time I cycle towards it, I want a clear path. I want it to be easy, smooth and enjoyable. But the path isn’t always clear because half the time there are people on it. Some are tourists taking photos, some are locals going about their day, and others are just like me: people on their bikes hoping for a clear run. Over the past few weeks that bridge has become the place where I practise letting go.

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Let It Go

Monday 14 October, 2002

A day of admin. I took it all step by step, completing each task before moving onto the next. Progress, therefore, seemed slow to me but left me feeling freer. As Karaj said, once a job is done, it’s done forever. Continued working thoroughly and systematically, feeling satisfaction and freedom from the burden of unfinished business.

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Stay With the Men, Let Go of Football

Saturday 1 September, 2001

A late breakfast followed by appraisal work with George, Sunil and Calvin. They chatted about the events so far and I typed them up. It was an effective session. Productive, efficient and empowering. In the early evening we all went for a walk. By this time Robert had returned from his solitary day out. He had separated himself from the group because of last night’s events, when he really needed to be with us. Ishwar had felt the same but had made an effort to make contact with us all in spite of his mood. We sat on the rocks listening to the sea and watching the sun set before returning to the hotel for the football (Germany 1 England 5).

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Let Go

Wednesday 17 January, 2001

No exercises this morning. It was too cold and I was too stiff from last night. Today we finished off our project in the loft. We hung the door, put the finishing touches to the shelving and completed the library. The bookshelves were a joy to erect because of Karaj’s specially designed, made-to-measure frames. In the middle of this final task Karaj was called away. I continued with the library and Karaj joined me as I was beginning to clear up.

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