We All Need Attention

Monday 8 September, 2014

We yearn for attention because we need it. As social animals, attention, acknowledgment and physical contact are fundamental to our development and continued health. Yet most of us have no idea how important our need is, nor how strongly it affects us. Studies of people’s brains in fMRI scanners have shown that (social) rejection affects the same part of the brain associated with physical pain, which is why solitary confinement in prisons is such a bleak and damaging punishment. It hurts to be excluded and ignored, and we are likely to do whatever is necessary to make sure it doesn’t happen.

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A Pattern’s Course

Tuesday 23 July, 2013

This post looks at one particular trait of mine – creating dramas – to highlight how patterns originate, are perpetuated, and eventually become automatic. A pattern begins life as a strategy. The strategy starts with a desire. We want something, we find a way to get it, and we repeat it until it becomes second nature. The strategy itself may arise intentionally or by accident, but if it works, there is no real point in changing it. There are many more ways for a strategy not to work, than there are for it to work, so it doesn’t make sense to risk changing anything which already leads to our needs being met.

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Manipulative Behaviour

Monday 14 November, 2011

This post looks at some of the degrees of manipulative behaviour we exhibit in our everyday interactions, the comments we make, and the strategies we use; all of which are devised to elicit particular responses, which perpetuate the psychological games (TA) we play.

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Despite My Tiredness

Tuesday 29 July, 2003

Karaj suggested I not be around for the Wednesday Group (WSG) because of Harriet. She will be challenged and may well try to score points, or get me to rescue her, or whatever.

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How I Manipulated Everyone

Sunday 7 July, 2002

I tried to print out my vision statement from 9th May this morning but the printer just kept throwing out pages of nothing. I had read it and discounted it, believing it to be insufficient and sub-standard. This would pave the way for behaviour which Karaj described as brilliant because I managed to suck my entire team into believing that I had no vision. It was a convincing performance because I was convinced that I had no vision. I felt the vision I had was not good enough. There, again, is my trait of putting myself down. Cut this out.

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