Creating A New Habit

Tuesday 1 May, 2018

How easy is it to create a new habit? That depends on the habit. Bad ones are a breeze and can develop without us noticing. Good ones, on the other hand, always seem to involve some discipline, effort or sacrifice – those not-so-magic words which can immediately put people off. This and subsequent posts will follow my own attempts to create a new habit, offering insights into the process so that you can see for yourself what happens, what is necessary, and what to look out for.

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The List

Wednesday 16 August, 2017

What follows is a list of many of the most important pieces from this blog. The list makes it easy for you to understand at a glance what is necessary in this work. It takes you through the process of self-development and self-realisation – from awareness, observation and reflection, and back to awareness – offering you guidance on what to expect along the way and what you can do to help yourself.

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Self-Doubt & Emergency Procedures

Wednesday 13 August, 2014

Once in a while I experience periods of self-doubt. They appear without warning, taint everything, strip me of my confidence, and make me question all that is important to me. It happened to me earlier this year; and last week it happened again. Fortunately, my experience and my writing tell me it doesn’t last forever and there are things I can do to help myself. This post looks at the process of dealing with the doubt, and highlights three aspects which helped to minimise the effect it had on me: (1) the value of recording events; (2) the use of emergency procedures; and (3) the awareness that there is more than one way to deal with things.

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Patterns, Procedures & Routines

Friday 14 March, 2014

There are times when even the best intention to succeed is not enough because events or, more commonly, emotions conspire against us. When that happens, it is worth remembering that there is almost always something you can do about it. This post is a reminder of that, and offers ways to facilitate a more effective process away from those unwanted scenarios.

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It All Comes Down To This

Monday 14 October, 2013

When we forget the simplicity of it all, or we’re convinced there must be another way; when we are stuck, or frustrated by the lack of novelty, this is the post to read. It’s a reminder of the value of repetition and practise. Every day, every minute, every breath. In the end, it all comes down to this:

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Riding & Surviving The Waves

Wednesday 25 September, 2013

I’m not a surfer, but I write this from Santa Cruz, California where surfing is everywhere. During my visit here to see a close friend, I read a book he gave me, written by a local surfing legend, Frosty Hesson. The book, Making Mavericks, contains a number of important lessons which the author identified on his way through life, and which he has passed on to many aspiring surfers over the years in order to help them become not just better surfers, but also better human beings. This post touches on what that story has taught me.

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Make It All About You

Friday 12 July, 2013

What are your goals? What is your purpose? Your vision? When you have answered those questions, the next step is to make everything about them. However, when you do, there is one major obstacle you may have to overcome: the feeling that you are being selfish by making it all about you. Know this: it isn’t selfish.

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People’s Patterns

Sunday 28 October, 2012

We assume people will change. We’ve watched loved ones suffer or complain. We’ve dealt with the consequences of a colleague’s below-average performance, and it’s possible we’ve had a frank exchange with a friend to clarify how their future behaviour needs to be. Some of those people have even acknowledged their problem areas, so surely they will have learnt their lesson? Surely it will be different next time? But it isn’t. And if we’re not careful the whole process of expectation, frustration and disappointment will repeat itself.

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The Process

Sunday 24 July, 2011

Things don’t always go according to plan or in line with our expectations. But, whatever is happening, it is helpful to see ourselves as being in a process of some kind; which means we can observe and, based on our previous experience, predict how things will turn out. This allows us to be more relaxed and more effective, even when our plans are not working out as we would like.

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Prediction

Thursday 26 May, 2011

It’s helpful to be able to predict what will happen in any given situation. We are aided in this by one simple rule. It doesn’t always apply and it is often the goal of personal development to ensure that it doesn’t apply, but for the most part we would do well to remember the following:

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Trust The Whole Process

Sunday 27 July, 2003

At midday Karaj and I chatted. He is under a great deal of stress with the responsibility of his work and the clients. We need to keep things ticking over and, if we are around in 2004, then we can look at doing something. We are both tired but there’s not much we can do about it. The stress he’s under is to do with not having a plan for the future; which direction to go in. Everything else is going well. ‘We’re tackling cultural scripts for fuck’s sake. Doing very deep work.

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Good & Getting Better

Sunday 22 June, 2003

After lunch, I read my Sicily appraisals. Robert showed the same ignorance of support as Priya. I chatted with Karaj in the garden. He thanked us for our support yesterday. Just like Sicily, the men were there when he needed us. We talked about Priya and Robert and their lack of any concept of support. Karaj asked me to ring Priya and talk to her about it.
I spent 15 minutes preparing the call: 1) She does not see the support, 2) does not acknowledge the support and 3) ran away from Ishwar’s and Dev’s support yesterday. 4) Robert was the same in Sicily.

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Taking Charge

Wednesday 21 May, 2003

Calvin called yesterday to inform me of today’s meeting with the new social worker. I asked him about his work. He is not following procedures regarding the meeting with his boss on Monday; he did not call us and so has neither formulated a response to the discussion, nor to her memo to him. He is not proactive. I checked my advice with Karaj which necessitated waking him up. Karaj agreed with me. I called Calvin back to tell him to stop fucking around.

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Getting In First

Wednesday 23 October, 2002

Yesterday evening I had a brief call with Calvin’s wife. She sounded busy, tired and weighed down. The complaint procedure is slow. Her son is settling into school okay but she is still not happy about the school. Today Calvin informed me that she has requested I attend the complaints meeting with her and Calvin.

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