If I Knew Then What I Know Now

Wednesday 23 November, 2016

Following on from the previous post about the effect each generation has on the next, this post (#1000) reinforces the point that when we bring awareness and an intention to improve our family script (TA), then healing is within the reach of every generation. What’s most attractive about it is that it’s the easiest and most effective way for the species to progress because it’s like starting a project again but with greater knowledge and experience of how things work.

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TS 1 – Behaviour Patterns

Monday 18 April, 2016

On the afternoon of the first Tuesday Seminar, I sat in the sunshine outside my favourite café to prepare myself. I had my book with me and as I flicked through it, willing inspiration to leap from its pages, a man approached me from the next table and asked where I got it from. He explained that he had read the café’s copy on occasion and was interested to read more. I smiled, informed him that I had written it, and invited him to join me. He sat down and we chatted for an hour. Later that evening he came to the seminar, brought his girlfriend with him, and when it was all over he purchased a copy of the book.

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Still Working

Thursday 27 November, 2014

Karaj and I have been talking all year about the events and people from my training days. My latest visit to see him was no different. We talked about the group, the negativity, and the processes at work. We talked about people’s commitment and where their focus was. In our conversations there is always a desire to get to the truth of who we are. It broke through again on the final morning, when our last discussion before I left for the airport took a surprising turn.

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What We’re Up Against

Wednesday 22 October, 2014

I posted a journal entry recently, from 11 years ago (My Mind At Work’). It was the most difficult entry of all to post because it denigrates the man who helped changed my life. I debated with myself and consulted those close to me on whether or not to publish. It would have been easy not to, but in the end I had little choice because the entry provides important insight into the power of the mind (and script) to undermine our entire process. Back then, I had been warned that such a phase would come, but still I felt powerless to do anything. I was even aware what was happening at the time – as can be seen from a line in the previous day’s entry – but still it seemed there was nothing I could do about it:

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Be Careful So Close To The Finish

Friday 19 September, 2014

Five weeks from today it will all be over. I have been working on this blog for almost four years and in just over a month it will be complete. As much as I’m tempted to get excited about it, and as much as there is also a part of me which just wants to reach the finish line, I need to remain focused and I need to be careful. Very careful. It’s a general rule I learnt early in my training, but it’s one which always has the capacity to catch me unawares, because it’s easy to think I am being careful enough. This post is a reminder to me – at a crucial time near the end of a prolonged and intense process – to be calm, focused, alert and safe.

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Be Careful What You Wish For

Thursday 8 May, 2014

Every birthday was a chance to make a wish, and throughout my childhood I only remember wishing for two things: a pair of roller skates when I was very young, and a proper leather football. Those wishes spanned close to a decade but it was only some years later that I realised both had come true. For the last 25 years I have been wishing for my health and well-being. As with the roller skates and the football, they too have come my way. This post assumes that wishes can come true and asks the inevitable question: if we get what we wish for, then maybe what we already have is something for which we have already wished.

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The Fork In The Road

Friday 11 October, 2013

It’s that point in the process of behavioural change, at which we are on the verge of laying down a new pathway. As we stand there, deliberating the fresh, untrodden ground for the first time, possibly even drained from the effort it has taken to get this far, it is useful to know that we are also close to rejecting the opportunity in favour of the familiar. Our preparation has taken us tantalisingly close to something new, yet we are about to turn our backs on it all, for a continuation of what we already know so well. This is to be expected and it explains, in part, why developing new habits can be a bit tricky.

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A Pattern’s Course

Tuesday 23 July, 2013

This post looks at one particular trait of mine – creating dramas – to highlight how patterns originate, are perpetuated, and eventually become automatic. A pattern begins life as a strategy. The strategy starts with a desire. We want something, we find a way to get it, and we repeat it until it becomes second nature. The strategy itself may arise intentionally or by accident, but if it works, there is no real point in changing it. There are many more ways for a strategy not to work, than there are for it to work, so it doesn’t make sense to risk changing anything which already leads to our needs being met.

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Better Strategies

Wednesday 29 February, 2012

The first time I complimented her she said, ‘Thank you‘. I asked her where she had learnt to react in such a way. She told me her father had taught her. I was impressed. Especially because there are others who negate or deny compliments. When that occurs neither person benefits. But here was someone who knew how to create a win-win situation in which both the giver and the receiver of the compliment walk away with a smile. A most effective strategy.

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Never Give Up

Tuesday 22 November, 2011

I don’t know when or why my attitude changed, but it did. I remember the times before it changed: if I was late for a train I would resign myself to it on the way and give up rather than hurry. Nowadays I keep going, doing everything I can to make it, until I am stood alone on an empty platform. I do that because there are times when everything works out: there is a slight delay with the train and I make it even though I’m late, or I miss it only to catch another, delayed train minutes later.

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Manipulative Behaviour

Monday 14 November, 2011

This post looks at some of the degrees of manipulative behaviour we exhibit in our everyday interactions, the comments we make, and the strategies we use; all of which are devised to elicit particular responses, which perpetuate the psychological games (TA) we play.

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It’s My Script

Monday 8 August, 2011

This entry looks at the nature of script and provides background information for the sequence of 11 historical posts between 23rd July 2000 (‘Brothers & Mothers‘) and 11th August 2000 (‘Clearing Out My Life‘). The title of this post is not an excuse or a justification of behaviour. I am not blaming anything on my script. Instead, I am talking about my script, rather than someone else’s, and how it is my responsibility to sort it out.

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Changing Patterns

Sunday 31 July, 2011

This post is about the awareness and commitment needed to change long-standing patterns of behaviour and how a change in one area of life can help with a shift in another. As an example, I talk about a well-established habit of my own, which I was determined to change. I go on to describe how the change effected a shift in another, perhaps more important area of my life.

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Am I the Person I Wish to Be?

Tuesday 5 July, 2011

Today’s post from 11 years ago (’Not My Best Day’) paints an unsatisfactory picture of myself. But that is okay because my development was a work in progress. It was not finished. It still isn’t. But today, looking back at that version of myself, I know things turned out okay.

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