When You Know It’s Possible

Tuesday 20 December, 2016

As difficult as things may seem sometimes, when you know something is possible, it is much easier to continue to strive for it. Seeing someone else do it and knowing it is not completely out of reach, alters your outlook. It lifts your spirits and helps you to keep going. Even more significantly, when you see what others can do, and you realise that there are things beyond what you thought possible, it can change everything. This post is a form of encouragement to keep going with your development, and offers an indication of the heights which can be scaled with something as simple as daily practice.

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It All Comes Down To This

Monday 14 October, 2013

When we forget the simplicity of it all, or we’re convinced there must be another way; when we are stuck, or frustrated by the lack of novelty, this is the post to read. It’s a reminder of the value of repetition and practise. Every day, every minute, every breath. In the end, it all comes down to this:

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To Serve

Thursday 18 April, 2013

Two years into the journal posts and the word is starting to appear more frequently. Serve. Serve others. Serve yourself. In time, it became one of the major lessons I took from my years with Karaj. He impressed upon us the importance of serving. He told us how much of an honour it is to serve someone and that his goal was always to serve and remain unnoticed, invisible.

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Consistency

Thursday 15 March, 2012

The word consistency has come up again and again over the last few weeks. In discussions with clients, with athletes and also with my teacher, Karaj. In every conversation there was talk of obstacles impeding progress – either the capricious nature of certain people who are always moving the goalposts, or our own thoughts threatening to affect our performance or journey. Everyday hindrances which so easily distract us, taking our focus away from whatever we are striving for.

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My Mind At Work

Thursday 16 October, 2003

I was tempted, out of loyalty to Karaj, not to publish this post because it accuses him of manipulation and deceit. From where I stand now, 11 years later, I know that to be unfounded, but I still had my doubts about posting it. The final decision to publish was made because the piece belongs in my story, and because I want to make clear how the power of the mind can be sufficient to undermine everything we do.

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My True Self

Wednesday 15 October, 2003

I am still moving quickly between leaving and staying. Focusing on my body helps me to forget, but the feelings soon come rushing back. Can’t stay, can’t go. Fucked. I am not cut out for this place. I could sit for months with the letter from Leon, George & Calvin in my hands trying to find the love in it and I wouldn’t be able to.

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Helping Each Other With Our Pain

Tuesday 23 September, 2003

After waking up feeling stiff in my (right) shoulder, neck and lower back, I wondered whether I might write something about my pain. It feels daunting and yet I can’t think of what to write. Karaj gave me some pointers, but even his help did not motivate me in any way. We talked about how, yesterday, neither of us was willing to look at our respective pain. We managed to address Karaj’s with his résumé because that was a job, and together we completed a task. I need to approach my pain in a similar way.

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Hospitality, Warmth & Humility

Monday 14 July, 2003

At the weekend, I attended a friend’s Sikh wedding. I spent a beautiful couple of days filled with love and laughter among good people. Everything worked so smoothly. Back home this evening I talked to Karaj, Shona and Serena about my observations and about the warmth, hospitality, faith, pride and respect of the people I met:

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Learning How To Serve

Sunday 1 June, 2003

Michelle had invited her father to the house today to honour him. The morning began with preparations for the celebration. Karaj drew up a to-do list of over 40 items. Simran was put in charge and was responsible for ticking off the items as they were done. I received the guests. It was important for me to welcome people and be the first point of contact here. I kept my distance from the servers – Simran, Dev, Ishwar and Kuldip. Only Ishwar was in control of things and it was because of the ineptitude of the others that I stayed on the edge of the operation. I got sucked into their mêlée once for a brief period during the serving of the main course, but quickly got out again when I realised what was going on.

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Old Habits Are Dying

Tuesday 27 May, 2003

Karaj called from London to discuss the plans for today. There will be more visitors: Michelle, Harriet, Dev, Marian and the girls (Simran’s young sons). Shortly afterwards, Calvin phoned, asking whether Karaj had looked at his work memo. He also told me the school has not sent the learning stuff he had thought they were getting. I was annoyed at Calvin’s lack of action and rounded the conversation up. His passivity cannot go on. With his son and his work he needs to do something. (He doesn’t know whether he will be here on Wednesday; he will let me know. Precisely my point.)

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Serving Others

Sunday 27 April, 2003

The five of us sat together once Dev, Simran and Kuldip had arrived. As Karaj highlighted yesterday, the Asians in the group are a gift. They have given me a perspective on relating to white people. It’s so much easier now. When Karaj and I go out into the world people will be equally difficult to communicate with so I need the practice, because I cannot afford to react emotionally in such situations.

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A Revealing Day At The Beach

Monday 7 April, 2003

I chatted with Karaj about about how I take inspiration from sport. Those who succeed follow the same procedures as are instilled here: determination, discipline, belief in the process, and vision. I also talked about how I am feeling good about myself and the fact that Shona, like Arun, wants Karaj to change when it is precisely his consistency that people need.

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It’s What I Want

Friday 4 April, 2003

This morning, as the three of us sat together in the cottage in the garden, Karaj challenged Dev: ‘Life is hard but it is simple. Stop comparing yourself. Look at what you have achieved, look at your starting point. Take things step by step and remember: you put yourself in hell the day you decided to sort yourself out.’ This is applicable to me too, of course. Relax and know that it is tough but it’s what I want.

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I Have Worked Wonders

Friday 10 January, 2003

Yesterday, after only two hours sleep, I prepared breakfast and pastimed with the temple dwellers on their return (Karaj, Dev and Priya). Then, while they slept, I worked on, continuing with the latest set of accounts. In the supervision session there was an for issue for Dev, which was relevant to me: I lose myself (disappear into myself) when I try to impress people, rather than just being me and doing what I do regardless of what others may or may not think. I also wondered, as Priya brought up the issue of her house list, why Karaj is taking on more work. It’s all to do with serving, I suppose.

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