Summary of Sicily

Tuesday 4 September, 2001

Karaj, Ishwar and I left the hotel early in order to get some space from the rest of the group. We tried in vain to get on an earlier flight which would have been ideal, especially in view of the fact that our flight ended up being delayed by three and a half hours. We made it back to England very tired and relieved to be home.

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Grow Up

Monday 3 September, 2001

Failed again to wake Karaj. I was so tired that, although I heard the alarm and clearly switched it off, I did not stay awake long enough to make the wake-up call to Karaj. I went down to the training room to make sure he was in there, but I didn’t go in. I should have, and this is where I need to grow up and be more of a man instead of a frightened boy.

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Congruency, Conclusion & Celebration

Sunday 2 September, 2001

I woke up feeling a little negative. I did not give Karaj his wake up call and received a bollocking for it. I had brought it on myself. Ishwar had even reminded me but I had decided to allow Karaj a lie in. Who am I to believe I know what other people need?! All I need to do is do my job. The women were just finishing their early-morning session as we went in. We took a break – this served to reinforce the need for procedures – and then Dev went ahead with his assessment of the feedback from the success stories. This time there was no problem with hearing and understanding his words.

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Stay With the Men, Let Go of Football

Saturday 1 September, 2001

A late breakfast followed by appraisal work with George, Sunil and Calvin. They chatted about the events so far and I typed them up. It was an effective session. Productive, efficient and empowering. In the early evening we all went for a walk. By this time Robert had returned from his solitary day out. He had separated himself from the group because of last night’s events, when he really needed to be with us. Ishwar had felt the same but had made an effort to make contact with us all in spite of his mood. We sat on the rocks listening to the sea and watching the sun set before returning to the hotel for the football (Germany 1 England 5).

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The Effects of Negativity

Friday 31 August, 2001

Natasha, Aaliyah, Michelle and Priya were all present in our group today. They’d had an early session with Karaj and we came in at the end of it. Initially, the women were only going to stay for an hour but they stayed for eight and a half. During that time there were numerous interactions, interventions, exchanges and learning points. The feedback at one point was very dynamic – everybody verbalising their thoughts and feelings about everybody else. It brought home to me the importance and benefit of verbalisation.

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Undermined By My Own Script

Thursday 30 August, 2001

I woke up and went for an early morning swim in the pool. I cracked my head on the side and needed two stitches. This made me think: why have I done this to myself? As Ishwar pointed out, all the positive feedback I received on my birthday yesterday has gone straight to my head. As I sat at the doctor’s I began to acquaint myself with a hitherto unrecognised negative side of myself, which clearly exists and exerts itself when things are going well, in an effort to prove that I am no good.

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An Intense Week Begins

Wednesday 29 August, 2001

The room had not been prepared for us. Karaj put me in control and told me what to say and how to say it. I needed to be firm, but with his sideline coaching I found it difficult to relax and be effective. I sorted things out in the end with a combination of Karaj’s methods and my own ability. I was not as unreasonable as Karaj would have been, but it brought home to me the fact that I am not Karaj and never will be. I have a different approach to such situations and all I can do is to go with that approach and incorporate Karaj’s techniques where I can.

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Last-Minute Quality

Tuesday 28 August, 2001

Exercised and tidied the house. Karaj greeted me with three hours worth of editing for the newsletter. I am not in the slightest bit excited about Sicily, and I won’t be until the newsletter is finished and I am sitting on the plane. During the course of the Sicily work my thoughts have alternated between what fantastic work it is we are doing and how beneficial it will turn out to be for all of us; and feelings of not being interested in doing the work with the other men. This comes about when I want time to myself, which I have had precious little of recently and will have none of now until the first day of rest on Thursday.

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Comprehensive Analysis

Monday 20 August, 2001

Whilst we waited for the gas man to arrive, the three of us made a start on our latest homework. We began with Calvin’s stories and it seemed like a monumental task. A task made easier, however, by the support of each other. We talked it through together until such a time when I suggested a 10-minute silence in order that we could all write down our own analyses. We had started with Calvin’s work, reasoning that this would at least be straight and easier to analyse than some of the others. It took us an hour each for the first two stories, after which we moved our operation to the house.

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Preparing for Sicily

Sunday 19 August, 2001

No chance for a lie-in because there was still a lot of work to do for the Sicily groups this afternoon. In the car on the way to the house I briefed the men about the presence of women – their group was scheduled for 12-2 o’clock, with the men’s group from 4-6 o’clock. I told them that they should avoid any games, don’t rescue or persecute, don’t make any sexual comments and don’t freeze.

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