TS 1 – Behaviour Patterns

Monday 18 April, 2016

On the afternoon of the first Tuesday Seminar, I sat in the sunshine outside my favourite café to prepare myself. I had my book with me and as I flicked through it, willing inspiration to leap from its pages, a man approached me from the next table and asked where I got it from. He explained that he had read the café’s copy on occasion and was interested to read more. I smiled, informed him that I had written it, and invited him to join me. He sat down and we chatted for an hour. Later that evening he came to the seminar, brought his girlfriend with him, and when it was all over he purchased a copy of the book.

Read the rest of this entry »

We All Need Attention

Monday 8 September, 2014

We yearn for attention because we need it. As social animals, attention, acknowledgment and physical contact are fundamental to our development and continued health. Yet most of us have no idea how important our need is, nor how strongly it affects us. Studies of people’s brains in fMRI scanners have shown that (social) rejection affects the same part of the brain associated with physical pain, which is why solitary confinement in prisons is such a bleak and damaging punishment. It hurts to be excluded and ignored, and we are likely to do whatever is necessary to make sure it doesn’t happen.

Read the rest of this entry »

20 Minutes In 20 Years

Saturday 19 March, 2011

This post is about the precious nature of human contact. I will use it to introduce the aspect of Transactional Analysis (TA) known as Strokes.

Read the rest of this entry »

Despite My Tiredness

Tuesday 29 July, 2003

Karaj suggested I not be around for the Wednesday Group (WSG) because of Harriet. She will be challenged and may well try to score points, or get me to rescue her, or whatever.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Next Level

Wednesday 2 April, 2003

Yesterday I returned from my trip to Australia with Peter. On the final part of the journey from London, there were a few Australians on the coach who were strangers to each other but who chatted with each other all the way. They are open and friendly. The English are reserved and closed. Who is missing out here?

Read the rest of this entry »

Why We Change Procedures

Friday 8 November, 2002

Simran arrived at 09:00. Both of us are in the same space: tired and hanging on. We talked, almost secretively and with a resigned ‘What’s the point?‘, of our dissatisfaction, disillusionment and confusion. For Simran the goal is to get to the stage where the challenges do not affect him. I console myself with the thought of leaving.

Read the rest of this entry »

Giving Too Much

Sunday 26 August, 2001

Arrived at the house to find Karaj in a bit of a chaotic state. He seemed pretty manic in his behaviour. We went for breakfast together and he gradually calmed down. We had planned to do some hard work today but ended up resting for most of it. Sunil came over in the evening. He and Karaj got into a discussion about patching clients up in emergencies. Sunil did not agree with this terminology as he does not ‘patch’ people up.

Read the rest of this entry »

Training Day: Ego States & Strokes

Saturday 30 September, 2000

Ego States

Read the rest of this entry »

Handling Generosity

Wednesday 30 August, 2000

I received some feedback from Karaj regarding the tuition of Michelle and Bridget (I had given them some basic word processing tuition). He told me I had been too generous and had given too much. The problem being that some people cannot deal with generosity.

Read the rest of this entry »

Just Be the Best I Can Possibly Be

Sunday 16 April, 2000

An early start – I did my exercises which I was very pleased about – and we went to the Forth Bridge before driving through Edinburgh to visit Karaj’s former client. Kuldip and I went for a walk and a pint in Edinburgh. We walked around the castle and had enjoyable conversations. I sometimes find Kuldip to be over-friendly; too eager to please by being very complimentary, almost subservient towards other people.

Read the rest of this entry »

Today is Friday and it shows in my mood. I am still very tired but I’m happy. Yesterday’s men’s group lifted me enormously. It is difficult to write what I learned in the group because it comes on top of everything that has happened in the last four weeks.  We talked about relationships – not specifically the relationship between a man and a woman but more generally and, more importantly, the relationships between human beings.

Read the rest of this entry »