The List

Wednesday 16 August, 2017

What follows is a list of many of the most important pieces from this blog. The list makes it easy for you to understand at a glance what is necessary in this work. It takes you through the process of self-development and self-realisation – from awareness, observation and reflection, and back to awareness – offering you guidance on what to expect along the way and what you can do to help yourself.

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We Think We Know

Saturday 27 May, 2017

We think we know, but we don’t. We think we have a good idea of how life should be – our own life, other people’s lives, life in general – but we don’t. Given the magnitude of it all and the small scales we operate on, how can we possibly think we can see the biggest picture? From our narrow perspective it’s unfathomable, and with our arrogance of assuming we know we restrict ourselves and make life unnecessarily complicated.

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As one participant highlighted during the seminar: when we surrender, there is no need to fight anymore. All too often surrender is seen as a weakness, but if we are able to see the empowerment which lies at its heart, then we feel encouraged to practise it more and more. And when we surrender our attachment to who we think we are, or how we think life works, or what we think we deserve, or what we think others expect of us, then we liberate ourselves: we become free to do whatever makes us happy, to give everything we have to whatever is in front of us and remain calm and balanced because the results – whatever they are – do not affect us.

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The Doubt Will Always Be There

Thursday 21 August, 2014

It is said of Richard Feynman, the great 20th century physicist, that when he lectured, his students understood the subject matter clearly, yet as soon as they left the lecture hall their understanding evapourated. I had a similar experience when I wrote and posted the previous entry, ‘Desperate To Belong’. During the writing of it, I had clarity about the injunction of not being allowed to dream and the reasons behind my struggle of wanting to conform but also go my own way. Yet as soon as I published the post, the sadness I had written of returned, followed inevitably by the familiar doubt that maybe I am making the wrong choice.

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This post is about a couple of people I know, whose opinions of personal development have changed dramatically over time. Their examples add further weight to the argument that this work is applicable to everyone’s life. They were both clear about their stance from the very start, communicating their thoughts with an immediacy which suggested they had already given the subject some consideration. In time, however, they changed their minds. One did so over the course of a couple of years, the other in the space of a few months. My role in both instances was to accept their initial assertions and carry on regardless. I never set out to change their minds because the nature of this work means there is no point in persuading someone when they are not interested or don’t believe it can help them. All I know is the difference this work has made to my own life and how much sense it makes when observing the human condition.

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Surrender Can Be A Strength

Saturday 25 January, 2014

In the end he ran away. Literally. I stood at the door and watched him hurry down the pathway and beyond the hedge, as if he were late for his next appointment. A few days later he left a message to say he would not be returning. Robert was an engaging character: erudite, highly educated and a master of language. Unfortunately, as far as his development process was concerned, his intellect (or rather his cleverness) was his downfall. Karaj highlighted it many times to him, but it wasn’t enough.

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Surrendering to Your Process

Monday 16 January, 2012

This post emphasises how important it is to surrender to whatever process we find ourselves in, whilst all the time maintaining a belief in ourselves and trusting that everything will work out well in the end. None of which, however, is an excuse to sit back and do nothing. We have to generate and sustain a certain amount of momentum in order to create the possibility of success. And if we do that, then a turnaround in our fortunes can happen in an instant.

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Stay With The Confusion

Saturday 26 July, 2003

My day began at 09:00 with a planning meeting with Karaj. It finished at 03:00 after yet another of many conversations with him about my confusion surrounding my place in the house and whether to stay or leave. Throughout the day there were eight of us present (Karaj, Michelle, Serena, Calvin, Dev, Priya, Ishwar and me) and we spent the day digging the utility block and having supervision sessions.

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Too Arrogant To Surrender

Wednesday 23 July, 2003

We (Karaj, Shona, Serena, George and I) sat together for an hour and talked about my current situation. English culture means no allegiance or loyalty, hence the bets that I won’t stay. We never surrender to anyone and never surrender to ourselves. (Indians have loyalty). English arrogance is the problem.

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It’s All Bollocks

Thursday 3 July, 2003

Awake. Tired and run down. Headache. Supervision with Karaj. I just need to keep going (for another couple of years). Karaj and I went for a long lunch. We talked about where we are. It’s good that we are constantly attacked (see The Way of Transformation). Either we will win or we will lose, and if we lose it means closing the place down, which means we win anyway.

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A Garden Altercation

Saturday 31 May, 2003

I couldn’t get to sleep last night because of thoughts about Kuldip’s assault on me, yesterday. Karaj told me that if I hadn’t challenged him, then I would have fucked the space up today and it would have seemed like my fault when all the time it had been Kuldip. That’s why it is important to protect myself.

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The Next Level

Wednesday 2 April, 2003

Yesterday I returned from my trip to Australia with Peter. On the final part of the journey from London, there were a few Australians on the coach who were strangers to each other but who chatted with each other all the way. They are open and friendly. The English are reserved and closed. Who is missing out here?

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The Necessity of Surrender

Monday 11 June, 2001

6.00 E&M 60 mins. I didn’t want to get out of bed but I did. At the house Kuldip arrived and we chatted about his weekend. As he talked I felt a nerve pain in my neck and right shoulder and I informed him of this as part of my feedback. Whenever he talked about his future plans and being focused on them I felt that he was missing the point of what Karaj has been telling him recently. His focus should be on himself, because if he can sort himself out then everything else will be okay. Kuldip seems to be doing things the other way round, assuming that if he can sort everything else out then he will be all right. Wrong.

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Complete Surrender

Wednesday 9 May, 2001

06.10 E&M 80 mins. Despite feeling very sleepy this morning, within ten minutes of beginning the routine I felt very awake, and the exercises went well. I arrived at the house to discover that I needed to proof read a document. Although the text hasn’t changed since the last time I checked it, Karaj seems to have lost the final version. I felt annoyed at this because I have already done the work once and see it as a total waste of time to repeat the exercise. Fortunately, I checked my own files to see if I had saved the finished version and, to my delight, I had. This changed my mood completely. Not only was I spared the laborious task of proof reading a 30-page document for a second time, I also felt satisfied that I had saved the original file.

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