Are You Still Breathing?

Friday 13 June, 2014

There were two occasions during the presentation, when the word breathe appeared on the screen. I had put it there for my own benefit, as a reminder for me to take a moment, breathe, and calm down. I tend to get excited about my work and any reminder to calm myself is always welcome. After the presentation, Karaj offered me his feedback. He suggested I use more of the breathe slides, adding that they should be the focus of my presentation and the focus of my life.

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Internal Dialogues

Tuesday 9 October, 2012

We all talk to ourselves, whether in full conversations or just one-liners. The things we say can be destructive, corrective, empowering or belittling. Some are deliberate, whilst others are less conscious; a background noise of barely noticeable messages which nonetheless have a potent effect on our well-being. The dismissive remarks range from casual admonishments for the everyday mistakes we make – spilling a drink or walking into a glass door – to the more harmful comments with which we put ourselves down.

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It’s My Script

Monday 8 August, 2011

This entry looks at the nature of script and provides background information for the sequence of 11 historical posts between 23rd July 2000 (‘Brothers & Mothers‘) and 11th August 2000 (‘Clearing Out My Life‘). The title of this post is not an excuse or a justification of behaviour. I am not blaming anything on my script. Instead, I am talking about my script, rather than someone else’s, and how it is my responsibility to sort it out.

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Child Ego State

Thursday 5 May, 2011

This is a TA (Transactional Analysis) term and needs a little clarification because of the two approaches I have used: one in my journals (see this entry, from 11 years ago) and one here on my website. In this post I briefly explain the difference between the two approaches and, at the end, I say a little more about what the Child ego state is.

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Drivers

Friday 29 April, 2011

In Transactional Analysis, ‘drivers‘ are the behavioural patterns we unconsciously and repeatedly fall back on, particularly in times of stress. They are the elements which drive our behaviour.

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Time Structuring

Thursday 7 April, 2011

This is how Transactional Analysis defines our use of time. It is an example of the simplicity of TA because whatever we are doing, it falls into one of only six categories. More importantly, knowing that these steps form an effective social procedure and that each of the first four elements is necessary for constructive, engaging interactions, will improve how we relate to each other and create more effective connections.

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20 Minutes In 20 Years

Saturday 19 March, 2011

This post is about the precious nature of human contact. I will use it to introduce the aspect of Transactional Analysis (TA) known as Strokes.

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What a Difference a Decade Makes

Friday 11 March, 2011

This entry shows how things have changed for me with regard to how I react to situations. I have already said that one of my main issues when I started my training in 2000 was a reliance on others to look after me. This is an element of my life script (‘script’ in the TA sense). In a nutshell: I made a strategic (survival) decision very early in my life – at the latest when I was one year old – to have others look after me; especially women whose nurturing instinct I triggered all too often.

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4,017 Days

Monday 7 March, 2011

In February 2000, in England, I began working closely with an uncompromising and unconventioanl therapist called Karaj. His approach was grounded in Transactional Analysis (TA), but he believed in using everything we do and everything we experience for our self-development. Under his guidance I learnt about TA and how it applied to my own life:

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Training Day: Games & Drivers

Saturday 30 September, 2000

Games

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Training Day: Ego States & Strokes

Saturday 30 September, 2000

Ego States

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Training Day: Introduction

Saturday 30 September, 2000

After a week of digging in the garden and not much to write, today has provided me with the push I seemed to be looking for to move myself forward. Today we had the TA training workshop which covered the topics relating to script.

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Becoming Aware of the Games

Friday 5 May, 2000

In a heavy meeting with Kuldip, Karaj showed us how Kuldip and Samantha both suck people into their games, and how Samantha confuses me, leaving me wondering what on earth’s going on.

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Parent Ego State

Friday 24 March, 2000

I need to make much more use of my Parent ego state (Transactional Analysis) to quieten my emotions. In the past, my problems have arisen mostly because of my emotional reaction to almost everything. It costs me enormous amounts of energy and the simple truth is: it doesn’t have to be that way.

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