A Shift Of Perspective

Tuesday 18 September, 2018

In the previous post, I talked about how it can take years for certain steps to be taken, even when things seem to be in place for progress to occur. Sometimes we are simply not ready. This is due in part to our conviction that the way we see the world is the only way to see it. No other perspectives exist, or if they do they are out of reach and out of sight, too easily dismissed or ignored in favour of the familiar. (A version of this occurs when two people vehemently disagree with each other’s view of the world.)

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Always Where We Need To Be

Wednesday 12 September, 2018

I finally read a book which has been on my bookshelf for more than two decades. I’ve dipped into it every so often over the years, but on each occasion a feeling would surface that the material was out of reach of my understanding. So far out of reach, in fact, that perseverance never seemed a worthwhile option.

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It’s A Game Changer

Wednesday 22 August, 2018

There was a definite shift during the retreat. I can’t say it happened in an instant, but it happened early on. It grew out of the experience of The Invitation, deepening each day. I saw clearly how being able to drop the identity and rest so effortlessly in the is-ness, meant two things. Firstly, I no longer had to be the person I had worked so hard to be (despite my attachment to it). This alone was a liberating insight. As with every other breakthrough from the retreat, the shift came from experiencing it. This anchors the insight in a way not possible through mere cognition. (See also ‘We Are The Sum Total Of Our Experience’.)

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Effortless & Empty

Monday 20 August, 2018

After the challenge from the previous day, day four felt more normal as I became increasingly familiar with the state of pure awareness (or is-ness). I was never there for extended periods, and I felt no exultation, but in the calmness there was peace. And some relief. The excitement of the previous days had subsided. What remained was the space to be able to rest in a new way of being and to recognise the mind at work in subtler ways.

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Observing From The Is-ness

Saturday 18 August, 2018

Day three began with doubt and ended with laughter. The laughter had a purity to it. It arose in the lottery queue for the evening Satsang, as 900 people stood in 15 lines waiting for lots to be drawn. Those lots determined in which order we would file into the hall. It began at the back of the block and spread in gentle waves throughout the silent crowd. Mooji had referred to someone’s joyful laughter the previous evening, saying, ‘There is no way that this laughter comes from the mind’. So maybe what I was hearing from myself and the pockets of people around me, was the sound of the is-ness. In any case, it was a very different feeling to how the day had begun.

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The Mandala Of Personhood

Friday 17 August, 2018

The first thought when I woke up on day two, was a realisation that I am attached to my identity. Just as with the previous day’s insight – everything is a distraction – this is not a new idea. As the sunrise shone through the open window, I lay in contemplation. It didn’t feel like a big deal. My mind started to wander away from the insight. There hadn’t been the revelatory feel I’d had the day before, so I began to question whether I am indeed attached to who I am.

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Everything Is A Distraction

Thursday 16 August, 2018

What surprised me most about the first few hours, was how distracted I was. Having registered, found my room, and left one final voice message for her, I walked around the castle grounds, doing what I thought people did on a silent retreat. I was quiet. But others were still talking. That was perplexing, but not necessarily distracting. My attention, instead, had been captured by the people themselves.

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The Conclusion Is Emptiness

Monday 30 October, 2017

The content of this blog stretches back over almost 18 years. It began as a search of the truth of human behaviour, prompted by a curiosity about why people behave the way they do. The short answer, I discovered, is conditioning. Whichever direction we look, it’s there; an intense and intrusive force with a seemingly unstoppable momentum behind it. There are the years of societal conditioning for example; generations of familial conditioning; and centuries of cultural conditioning.

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Friendship & The True Self

Saturday 16 September, 2017

The wedding I wrote about in the previous post was more than a wedding for me. I came away from it contemplating the nature of the connections with my friends. I was struck by their solid nature and uplifting effect, regardless of how transient or tenuous the friendships may be. Eventually my thoughts led me to another connection: the one between the worldly self and the true self. This post is about how our long-standing friendships can help us connect more firmly with who we truly are.

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The List

Wednesday 16 August, 2017

What follows is a list of many of the most important pieces from this blog. The list makes it easy for you to understand at a glance what is necessary in this work. It takes you through the process of self-development and self-realisation – from awareness, observation and reflection, and back to awareness – offering you guidance on what to expect along the way and what you can do to help yourself.

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Drop Everything For A Moment

Thursday 24 March, 2016

16 years ago, I wrote a short entry called Infinite Futures, in which I talked about the advantages of remaining within that quiet point in existence where all futures are possible, rather than allow my thoughts to limit me to one particular trajectory. My point had been to remind myself how peaceful life is when I am not preoccupied with what the future may or may not hold.

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Acknowledging Our Nature

Tuesday 31 July, 2012

We are not perfect. Far from it. We are able to love, create and nurture but we can also hate, neglect and destroy. When I witness human kindness I am deeply touched. Conversely, when I experience malice I feel dispirited. It is naïve to think we can keep the good and rid ourselves of the bad, but there is something we can do to improve humanity. We can acknowledge our nature. Acknowledge who we are.

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My True Self

Wednesday 15 October, 2003

I am still moving quickly between leaving and staying. Focusing on my body helps me to forget, but the feelings soon come rushing back. Can’t stay, can’t go. Fucked. I am not cut out for this place. I could sit for months with the letter from Leon, George & Calvin in my hands trying to find the love in it and I wouldn’t be able to.

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Just Keep Going

Tuesday 15 July, 2003

In the presence of Ishwar, Serena and Simran, Karaj said this: ‘I had two previous clients who came here to con me and prove me wrong. Simran (& Priya) are doing the same. Jonathan came here to seek the truth. That is why he is still here. So I have Jonathan and Ishwar working at the top level. Let’s move forward. George is getting there and he will bring Leon with him.

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