The Team & The Individual

Monday 15 October, 2018

The best thing you can do for your team is to work on yourself. If everyone does that, and people support each other in their respective development, the team will grow and mature. So, too, will the individual. PRACTICE and DISCIPLINE are the foundations of the work. They are qualities you will need to return to again and again as you seek to change certain habits. It can be difficult at first, but if you pay close attention you will be able to SEE YOUR PROGRESS, no matter how small. And it’s important that you see the small steps, because if you wait for the big leaps you will easily become downhearted.

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Talk To Yourself

Wednesday 18 January, 2017

Two of the most effective people I know talk to themselves. One prepares to leave the house by listing out loud what she needs to take with her; and the other chides and encourages himself, making sure he doesn’t succumb to familiar patterns. It seems unnecessary – even crazy – but it’s a compellingly successful method, and all it takes is for us to turn our thoughts into sound. (Incidentally, the reason we think it’s crazy is because we have been conditioned to think that only crazy people talk to themselves.)

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Journeys Within Journeys

Thursday 2 October, 2014

In the days before I set off to spend a month in the sunshine, there was reluctance. I had booked the trip primarily out of need, rather than desire. Desire alone would not have sufficed to make it happen, because I have come to value routine over adventure; repetition over novelty. These past weeks have re-awakened the adventurous side of my character in the most gentle way possible: within the secure friendship of good people, and in a beautiful, warm part of the world where everything was in place for me to create my normal routine, meet new people, indulge ever more effortlessly in new experiences, and see myself in sharper focus.

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Separate Out The Emotions

Tuesday 8 July, 2014

Recent journal posts (from 11 years ago) highlight my inability to verbalise effectively or even appropriately. It had been a constant theme throughout my training and yet here I was still unable to do it when I really needed to. My Englishness, shyness, and please others driver were all limiting factors in this endeavour, but that does not explain how, after years of training, I was still struggling to voice where I was. Reading those entries again, it’s clear to me that the main problem was always the emotions.

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Olive Oil & Serving Spoons

Sunday 9 February, 2014

This is a delightful example of completing the picture; the procedure of relating both or all sides of a shared experience. It creates clarity, provides learning opportunities and enhances the connection between people. I shared two meals with Karaj and it was only a fortuitous mistake with the second meal which led to us revealing our respective thoughts from the first. To begin with, here is my side of the story:

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It All Comes Down To This

Monday 14 October, 2013

When we forget the simplicity of it all, or we’re convinced there must be another way; when we are stuck, or frustrated by the lack of novelty, this is the post to read. It’s a reminder of the value of repetition and practise. Every day, every minute, every breath. In the end, it all comes down to this:

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What Are You Going To Do About It?

Thursday 7 February, 2013

It was one of the most powerful questions I heard during my personal development training. We were always being told to verbalise whatever was going on inside, but not to indulge too much in the emotions attached to our issue. If such indulgences went too far the question ‘What are you going to do about it?‘ would snap us back to the practicalities of what to do next.

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Remembering Why I’m Here

Saturday 18 October, 2003

Experiment in Self Healing Community (Karaj, Dev, George, Michelle, Priya, Ishwar, Harriet, Imogen and myself). I went down a little with each of Karaj’s asides. At various times he told people I am petty, passive, and that I do not trust him. Although each of these comments got to me, they did not rock me too much. Karaj is acting in my best interests and I also want people to know who I am. I need to find a way to concentrate on my positives. Karaj told Dev, ‘You are like Jonathan. You’ve done well, relax and you’ll learn even more, instead of trying to sort things out.’

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I Need To Win

Monday 6 October, 2003

After breakfast, I looked at my Vivekananda books: ‘We are responsible for who we are, because we have the power to be whoever we wish.’ Karaj and I then sat in the sunken garden for hours and talked. We began with how he prepares so thoroughly for every eventuality because it lessens the chance of the script finding a way through. If we are not prepared when we walk into a room, then we will always attract those people who will perpetuate our script. I felt emotional about how I have behaved towards people of late. I do not want to be an emotional person who takes it out on others.

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Lifting The Heaviness

Sunday 5 October, 2003

I woke up at some stage in the night disappointed that I am not moving back to Germany. I have a pain in my left leg which I noticed during yesterday’s walk. It feels bruised and tender, between the middle of the calf and the middle of the hamstring. Walking is awkward. My lower back is also sore. It also feels bruised.

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An Examination Of Pain

Wednesday 24 September, 2003

Simran arrived at 17.40, and Calvin called to say he was on his way. He has received a reply from his boss about his work appraisal, to which he needs to respond by close of business in two days. Calvin is bashing himself up for not having got his response in first. It serves him right. I helped Simran with the food. He still irritates me but that is my issue, not his.

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Working With The Ego States

Friday 19 September, 2003

I did not get to sleep until about 02:00 last night despite going to bed early. After a planning meeting this morning, with Karaj and Simran, I did my exercises. I felt energised afterwards and had a couple of insights during the session: 1) I needed to have carried on working last night because I couldn’t sleep anyway. 2) I appreciate Simran’s presence when he is here (and how Karaj deals with it) because he works with Karaj and I am free to get on with my work.

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Talking About Talking

Wednesday 17 September, 2003

After a full day of work and exercise, I spent the evening in conversation with Karaj. We talked about how well I’m doing and how hard I’ve worked to get here. Karaj told me my annoyance is my biggest problem. I know what he means because I get annoyed unnecessarily at things which just need dealing with. There is really no need to get emotional.

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There Is Only You

Wednesday 3 September, 2003

During this evening’s session, Shona was being very negative about her world and herself. It’s tiresome. I know how she feels but there is a stubborn, energy-draining barrier she puts up to any help, positive comments, or suggested alternatives to her perspective. She works hard at remaining negative in the (vain) hope that someone will come along and sort it out for her: ‘I just want someone to take the pain away.’ I recognise that because I do the same, but there comes a time when you realise that no-one is going to do it and there is only you.

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