In August, after I wrote ‘We Are Wonderful…’, I thought I’d continue to write about the issues touched upon near the end of that piece. I haven’t. I did some writing, but none if it has appeared on this blog. Three weeks ago I wrote a companion piece, ‘Look After Yourself’, which brought me closer to where I stand today: facing the inevitability of needing (and wanting) to write, despite having little idea what I will discover.

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For people new to written reflection, the first question they often ask is, ‘What should I write?’ My answer is always the same: ‘It doesn’t matter. There’s no right or wrong. You can write whatever you like. To begin with it’s not important what you write. What’s important is that you write.’ This blog post aims to provide a little more texture to that response, as well as a few ideas for where to begin.

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The core contents of this blog, distilled from the work I have done over the last 20 years, make up nine areas. Those areas, or Tiles as they are depicted, guide you through what you will encounter, or what you need to be aware of as you write your own instruction manual – which begins as a daily journal of your observations.

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If I send you to the cinema to watch a film of your choice, you will undoubtedly enjoy yourself and be entertained. If I send you again, and this time I ask you to write a half-page summary of the film when it’s over, you will still be entertained, but you are likely to pay more attention as you watch events unfold on the big screen. You will be more engaged with the material, more observant, perhaps even making mental notes of details you wish to record.

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The previous post was all about gathering the most useful prompts to remind me of what I want to be doing every day this year: Letting go and being empty. This post is primarily meant to help, too, because as I have written before, we forget. We are distracted so easily by life and the world, that our focus is often restricted to mere seconds. The distractions are so frequent and persuasive that it might be hours before we eventually remember to return to even the simplest of practices – breathing, for example. When those stretches of time continue for more than a few days, the new habit is forgotten; swallowed up by the swirling familiarity of immediate life.

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The anger turned to sadness, but still there seemed no way out. There was some shame, too, as there always is, because as hard as I work and as long as I have been focused on improvement, such lapses as I describe in the previous post, always make me wonder whether I am actually getting anywhere. This post and the three which follow are meant to record, in case I doubt myself again, that I am getting somewhere. They also detail how written reflection and a well-intentioned, open discussion are key to dispelling the clouds which obscure the purity of who we truly are.

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The best thing you can do for your team is to work on yourself. If everyone does that, and people support each other in their respective development, the team will grow and mature. So, too, will the individual. PRACTICE and DISCIPLINE are the foundations of the work. They are qualities you will need to return to again and again as you seek to change certain habits. It can be difficult at first, but if you pay close attention you will be able to SEE YOUR PROGRESS, no matter how small. And it’s important that you see the small steps, because if you wait for the big leaps you will easily become downhearted.

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I was looking through my old journals recently, and I found a transcript from a very early group session in which I was asked by Karaj to read from the pages of my journal. At that point I had only been writing for 4½ months. I read two passages, and what follows is the feedback I received. I include this on my blog because it reinforces the power of writing, and because the brief comments from Karaj are hugely reminiscent of how he was in his work. He doesn’t say much in these exchanges but when I read his words I can picture the scene as clearly as if it were happening now, rather than 18 years ago. His comments will also be familiar to the people who attended our recent retreat, because my way of doing things is heavily influenced by what I learnt from Karaj.

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What follows is a list of many of the most important pieces from this blog. The list makes it easy for you to understand at a glance what is necessary in this work. It takes you through the process of self-development and self-realisation – from awareness, observation and reflection, and back to awareness – offering you guidance on what to expect along the way and what you can do to help yourself.

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Sitting on the train, I look at the people standing on the platform as they catch themselves in the darkened glass of the train window. They move their head slightly from side to side, but their gaze remains fixed, fascinated by a face they see every day. What is it about our own reflection that captivates us so much? Is it because we make an effort to look good and we like to admire our work? Or are we looking for flaws which might need correcting? Whether it’s admiration, correction, or curious fascination, we require our reflection to be able to do it.

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The fact that this was one of the best seminars so far was due partly to the variety of subjects we covered: the importance of listening (to the self and others), of writing, and of focusing on our breathing, as well as the role which suffering plays in our happiness. The main reason, however, was the clear demonstration by one participant of the entire point of the seminar. Namely, that we easily dismiss things if they do not fit into our narrow band of relevance, and that when we listen more closely we make life easier for ourselves. (That demonstration appears at 26:34 in the video below.)

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The message of this seminar – over and over again – was that all you have to do for the transformation to begin, is to see your behaviour clearly. See who you are, and you will notice a momentum of change which has its roots in the observation itself. It is a magical, powerful part of the whole process; one which makes everything so much simpler. It allows us to relax more easily and to trust more readily that we will get where we want to go. And it leaves us with a definite sense that so much can be achieved just by observing our behaviour.

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Don’t read the previous two entries! Now I’ve said that, basic human psychology suggests that you are much more likely to read them, so let me explain what I mean: Those last two pieces (‘Still Working’ and ‘Commitment To Yourself’) are the final two entries of my book, Evolution By Natural Reflection. The book tells the tale of my self-development, offering the reader the chance to reflect on their own life as they read. So if you want to know how the story ends, go ahead and read those two entries; but if you want the full story, it is available in a 650-page practical guide to personal growth. Here is an extract from the introduction:

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Once in a while I experience periods of self-doubt. They appear without warning, taint everything, strip me of my confidence, and make me question all that is important to me. It happened to me earlier this year; and last week it happened again. Fortunately, my experience and my writing tell me it doesn’t last forever and there are things I can do to help myself. This post looks at the process of dealing with the doubt, and highlights three aspects which helped to minimise the effect it had on me: (1) the value of recording events; (2) the use of emergency procedures; and (3) the awareness that there is more than one way to deal with things.

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