The List

Wednesday 16 August, 2017

What follows is a list of many of the most important pieces from this blog. The list makes it easy for you to understand at a glance what is necessary in this work. It takes you through the process of self-development and self-realisation – from awareness, observation and reflection, and back to awareness – offering you guidance on what to expect along the way and what you can do to help yourself.

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Reflection Of What’s There

Tuesday 16 May, 2017

Sitting on the train, I look at the people standing on the platform as they catch themselves in the darkened glass of the train window. They move their head slightly from side to side, but their gaze remains fixed, fascinated by a face they see every day. What is it about our own reflection that captivates us so much? Is it because we make an effort to look good and we like to admire our work? Or are we looking for flaws which might need correcting? Whether it’s admiration, correction, or curious fascination, we require our reflection to be able to do it.

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TS 17 – Listen To Yourself

Friday 4 November, 2016

The fact that this was one of the best seminars so far was due partly to the variety of subjects we covered: the importance of listening (to the self and others), of writing, and of focusing on our breathing, as well as the role which suffering plays in our happiness. The main reason, however, was the clear demonstration by one participant of the entire point of the seminar. Namely, that we easily dismiss things if they do not fit into our narrow band of relevance, and that when we listen more closely we make life easier for ourselves. (That demonstration appears at 26:34 in the video below.)

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TS 9 – Awareness Is The Key

Thursday 9 June, 2016

The message of this seminar – over and over again – was that all you have to do for the transformation to begin, is to see your behaviour clearly. See who you are, and you will notice a momentum of change which has its roots in the observation itself. It is a magical, powerful part of the whole process; one which makes everything so much simpler. It allows us to relax more easily and to trust more readily that we will get where we want to go. And it leaves us with a definite sense that so much can be achieved just by observing our behaviour.

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Spoiler Alert

Wednesday 24 February, 2016

Don’t read the previous two entries! Now I’ve said that, basic human psychology suggests that you are much more likely to read them, so let me explain what I mean: Those last two pieces (‘Still Working’ and ‘Commitment To Yourself’) are the final two entries of my book, Evolution By Natural Reflection. The book tells the tale of my self-development, offering the reader the chance to reflect on their own life as they read. So if you want to know how the story ends, go ahead and read those two entries; but if you want the full story, it is available in a 650-page practical guide to personal growth. Here is an extract from the introduction:

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Self-Doubt & Emergency Procedures

Wednesday 13 August, 2014

Once in a while I experience periods of self-doubt. They appear without warning, taint everything, strip me of my confidence, and make me question all that is important to me. It happened to me earlier this year; and last week it happened again. Fortunately, my experience and my writing tell me it doesn’t last forever and there are things I can do to help myself. This post looks at the process of dealing with the doubt, and highlights three aspects which helped to minimise the effect it had on me: (1) the value of recording events; (2) the use of emergency procedures; and (3) the awareness that there is more than one way to deal with things.

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Write A Different Story

Friday 21 March, 2014

Whilst editing this whole blog into three volumes, I became tired of reading about my negativity in the mornings. I also grew weary of the repetitive nature of the discoveries I was making. It seemed as though I was forgetting everything that had gone before, reinventing the wheel every day and excitedly recording my findings, but not actually doing anything with them.

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Who Updates Your Software?

Tuesday 11 March, 2014

One click is all it takes. Sometimes two if you have to accept the new terms and conditions (which you do blindly and with the exasperation of an extra, unnecessary step.) That is all you do and the update flows into your machine, to be absorbed into your current system without any further thought or action. In the worst cases, you have to reboot your device, which is easy to put off for a while but you can’t delay it forever because eventually your software will stop working.

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Three Years, Three Books

Friday 7 March, 2014

This blog is three years old today, and the writing it contains began 14 years ago today. When I first had the idea, I knew it was a good one, but I didn’t think it would serve me so well. Some people wondered whether it might be too personal to put my journals online. There were certainly occasions in the beginning when I debated whether or not to post particular entries, but it’s the nature of what I do, and this blog is my commitment to my work. Happy Birthday.

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It All Comes Down To This

Monday 14 October, 2013

When we forget the simplicity of it all, or we’re convinced there must be another way; when we are stuck, or frustrated by the lack of novelty, this is the post to read. It’s a reminder of the value of repetition and practise. Every day, every minute, every breath. In the end, it all comes down to this:

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Riding & Surviving The Waves

Wednesday 25 September, 2013

I’m not a surfer, but I write this from Santa Cruz, California where surfing is everywhere. During my visit here to see a close friend, I read a book he gave me, written by a local surfing legend, Frosty Hesson. The book, Making Mavericks, contains a number of important lessons which the author identified on his way through life, and which he has passed on to many aspiring surfers over the years in order to help them become not just better surfers, but also better human beings. This post touches on what that story has taught me.

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Just To Recap…

Monday 22 April, 2013

For those of you new to this blog, here is the essence of the story so far: Karaj was an unconventional therapist, whose lack of social skills meant he could cut through people’s games and surface-level politeness to see straight to the core of what it means to be human. I spent four years learning as much as I could from him. Early on I asked him how he did it. He replied, ‘It’s simple. Anyone can do it. I’ll show you.’ And he did. And he was right, it is simple. But the process of getting there was hard.

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Write Stuff Down

Monday 28 January, 2013

I know someone who, when she first learnt to read, ran home from school and immediately sat down to teach her younger siblings. To her it was like magic. A new world had opened up, increasing her powers a thousand-fold. She wanted to share it with everyone; and she has been a prolific reader ever since. I thought of her when I sat down to write this post because I have a similar magical feeling about writing.

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The Essence of Coaching

Friday 6 January, 2012

I received an email last month asking me to shed light on the subject of coaching for someone who had little experience of the process. I replied, explaining the general framework of the coaching relationship and outlining some of the basic requirements. In this post I talk about the more experiential characteristics of the coaching process; what happens and what the coaching client can expect.

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